Whoop there it is…

Gah…how long has it been? By my calculations, forever and a day sound about right?

Close enough.

Around two weeks ago I hit a wall tagged Bronx graffitti style by the badass crew of the flu. My younger son, code name Sunshine, is highly allergic to eggs, so he can’t get a flu shot. In a show of stupid solidarity I refuse to get one too so he’s not alone and we can be miserable together. It worked. We spent a whole Friday watching Season One and Two of The Walking Dead on Netflix while fighting over the last box of tissues. But then that bitch Murphy made me her bitch again. I started getting better by the end of the next week, but it turned out I was just getting punk’d. It wasn’t getting better. It was getting worse. The waning fever. The coughing up a lung. Just when it was time for our clocks to spring forward, my ass sprung back to the 1940’s.

Because I have Whooping Cough.

Fucking what?

How lame. I’d much rather fancy myself as wielding a wicked case of whoop ass. But then I also like to fancy that the moment Skarsy and I lock eyes for the first time, cartoon hearts will appear in his and he’ll insist we run away to fuck happily ever after.

Speaking of which:


According to the gossip, he was out house hunting. If I’m truly on my death bed, then he needs to pick a place to hang his hat.


I also like to fancy that I know what was going on in this picture.

Swedish sign language

What can I say? It’s not just the flu that makes me feverish.

Secrets That We Keep – Chapter Twenty-Three


5 comments on “Whoop there it is…

  1. Get those tricked out crutches ready just in case you get Polio, Wifey. Better to be safe than sorry. I’ll just be over here ordering you a custom made Iron Lung complete with vodka dispenser for DrunkSkars trapping.

  2. redjane12 says:

    Your visuals crack me up each time. I can’t wait to see what you come up with re: the new perfume ad that’s out there (encounter)… There is even a long version for the, ahem, unconditional fans…
    Oh and feel better soon!

  3. meridiean says:

    Oi – enough bad-assery for you, I think! Sounds like you need some immersion therapy, and, , by “immersion therapy” I mean a nice, long vacay in Skarsgardville. You’ll have to stay there long enough for not only a full recovery but long enough to be sure that you’ve built up an immunity to all the other crud lung-hopping around the planet.

  4. EdgeofSomething says:

    I hope you are feeling better soon! Thanks for a new chapter!

  5. luvvampsl says:

    OMG! I just spent all day Monday watching Season One and Two of The Walking Dead! Thought it was awesome. At least it’s something to watch seeing how there is no Askars to watch. Hope you and yours are feeling better.

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