Fiction versus Fact…

FICTION: I work full time, am a mother to two teenage boys, and somehow manage to keep all of that running smoothly while writing goofy stories.

FACT: I work full time, am a mother to two teenage boys, but my house is a complete and utter mess because I’ve been spending so much time writing goofy stories.

FICTION: My mother is perfectly capable of handling her own affairs when it comes to her health.

FACT: She’s called me no less than ten times since we went to her doctor’s appointment together on Monday (an office visit for her upcoming cataract surgery), asking me if it’s safe for her to drive, go to the gym, do yard work, etc. and being told TEN TIMES that IT WAS JUST AN OFFICE VISIT THEY DIDN’T CARVE OUT THE LENS IN YOUR EYEBALL YET!

FICTION:  My mother believes I’ve hidden my medical degree from her.

FACT: I’ve hidden my fan fiction writing from her.

FICTION: I had gobs of chapters waiting in reserve to be able to update nearly every day.

FACT: I had THREE chapters written and have been writing a new chapter nearly every day.

FICTION: I can keep up with this schedule.

FACT: Only if I employ a maid.

So, now that that’s all cleared up, you may or may not get a new chapter tomorrow. The FACT is I had most of this one written yesterday, so it didn’t take long for me to finish it this morning. BUT my mother, sister, and her hellions are stopping by tonight and I have approximately 54885269 things to do before they get here, so if you don’t here from me tomorrow it’s because I’ve jumped off of the nearest bridge.

If I haven’t, it’s only because I’ve pictured this to see me through:

Yikes

And this:

Yahoo

And finally, imagining the FICTIONAL scenario where I’m relaxing here instead of the FACT I’ll be holding a toilet brush:

Yum

Playing God – Chapter 9

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11 comments on “Fiction versus Fact…

  1. switbo says:

    Omg. That is some fabulous Skarsporn up there. Holy biceps Batman. Um, did you say something? Good grief look at that chest…. Seriously, did you say something? I thought I heard ….yeah…umm….what was I saying?

  2. OMG – I love you. I practically sprayed my keyboard with the water in my mouth while laughing at your fact versus fiction (I could write a similar one). A toilet brush, ey? Are we supposed to DO something with those things?
    Thanks for the AM Laugh. Out. Loud.
    ~mags

  3. estrella75 says:

    Oh FUCK with that last one. Unf

  4. Anaman says:

    You’re doing us great gifts with your updates and I can’t even imagine how you do to deal with all this! You’re an everyday anonymous hero!
    Thank you!

  5. msbuffy says:

    Dear kj! Are you living my life? Honestly, it’s so eerily similar – except for the portion where you write the best FF anywhere on the ‘net! I’ve got chapters upon chapters to proof, edit & return to all of my writers as well as book reviews to write for the stack of books in my office that have turned into a very nice little settee for my coffee cup…Yet, your sarcastic wit & hilarious posts get me through my day as well as all of the gorgeous mouth-watering pics of the Viking. Where do you find all of them? Oh, who cares? As long as you’re willing to share, I’m more than content to show my gratitude after wiping off the drool & returning to them over & over again. As far as keeping the household chores up-to-date, I’ve discovered writing little notes in the accumulated dust is far more effective than the paper I’ve used for years. They get more attention this way, and if my hubby makes messes, at 53 he’s more than capable of cleaning up after himself rather then leaving them for me since he knows hell will freeze over before I’ll do it. I firmly believe when I’m “in the zone” doing my work, he’s in that place I call “YOYO.” “You’re on you’re own!”

    Best of luck with relatives. If they’re offended with the way things look in your home, promptly show them where the cleaning items are & tell them to have at it! You’re an inspiration to all of us who juggle everything but dedicate our time to what we enjoy most! Just go for it. Everything else will still be there when you’ve finished for the day. Really. Just do what you love, and it will be sorted out later! A day without you comments & chapters leaves me to have to do my work while I’d much rather be gazing at Skarsporn! Don’t change a thing!

  6. christicdc says:

    I love fact vs fiction. I think we all totally understand but you putting this out there helped us remember. You are such a great writer and you have now spoiled me. I was used to an update once a week and now you’ve been updating almost daily with Playing God.

    Good luck with your family! I hope your mother’s surgery goes well and everything will be alright with her. Relax and get your stuff done. We all understand! Thank you for the yummy pics of Alex! I had not seen the last two.

  7. Thanks for my daily dose of Skarsporn! I just came home from working & traveling all night & I needed that.

  8. anem72 says:

    It should be illegal to look as good as Alex; great pics!

    Reading that was like looking back at my relationship with my Mom. She managed to raise 4 children but as soon as we were adults with our own families she couldn’t handle any medical appointments, letters or make telephone calls on her own behalf! As for forms? She suddenly lost the ability to read, understand and fill in her own forms.

    I went to the doctor with her and he said that surgery was the last resort for hiatus hernia at her age and she was not a candidate because she still hadn’t taken any of the medications prescribed to manage her symptoms, which were actually quite mild. Imagine my shock when my other siblings asked me to meet up for family meeting to discuss sharing the care for Dad (poor man dying of cancer) so Mom could have this emergency surgery she needed!!!!!!!

    My therapist suggested a lot of breathing exercises and counting to ten before answering lol. Not sure if you’ve tried those already!

  9. Kjwrit,

    I tried to connect to the chapter, but it goes to another story, the chapter where Eric works in the morgue, and goes to visit Michelle in the mental hospital. Thanks for all the updates! Love your stories! Robin

    Sent from my iPhone

    • kjwrit says:

      Well that’s weird. The link works when I click on it, but you can try scrolling down to the index of stories and clicking on the chapter from there. 🙂

  10. kleannhouse says:

    loved the above fact vs fiction…. so alike we are but put my husband in place of your mom…. Kristie

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