Baby it’s cold outside…

And here was where I was going to embed the video for this, but because WordPress is a bitch it won’t allow me to embed any video that isn’t shit straight out of YouTube’s ass. So instead I’ll show you this:

5

To misquote a certain sexy Swede, Five degrees, mother fucker, FIVE DEGREES.

And that doesn’t take into consideration the wind chill factor, which – by my calculations and to quote my dearly departed father – makes it colder than a witch’s tit outside.

It’s true. I’m half Asian and making a broad sweeping generalization by declaring we never get our math wrong because our mothers smack the tops of our heads with wooden chopsticks so we’ll do our mommy homework multiplication tables while eating our breakfast, waiting for the schoolbus to carry us away from their crazy.

Or maybe that was just me?

And speaking of questionable parenting styles, thanks to my own, my kids got me this for Christmas, which I now have an occasion to use because the water pipes leading to my washing machine are frozen:

Bullshit Flag

After years of watching their mother search her pockets in vain for this handy dandy bit of gold, they went ahead and got me a real one to replace my snarky one. Later on tonight they’ll get to watch their mother wash clothes in the kitchen sink. I wonder what that will get me next year.

And speaking of bits of gold, I have MissyDee to thank for this:

Kellan

Because in my world:

Unicorn

And if you’re not following her WordPress page, you need to just stop what you’re doing and head on over there to see the pictures of when she met Alexander Skarsgard!
(Phonetically spelled, Alexander ERMAHGERD)

I didn’t notice what his shirt said until later on, but let’s just say from now on I will be carrying around copious amounts of change.

Nickels to be precise. 😉

I know I’ve been MIA for way too long and for that I apologize. I got divorced – from Work Wife (but I could end up divorced from House Hubs when he asks why I’m carrying so many nickels around). That has left my work schedule all over the damn place lately, but things are finally slowing back down so I should be able to get back on a somewhat normal schedule.

This chapter is a continuation of another universe of mine and is part one of two. If you’ve read my other crap, you might remember it. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, but if you want to be spoiled before reading it click here and then here.

If you’d rather just figure it out for yourself, here you go!

Counting Stars

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8 comments on “Baby it’s cold outside…

  1. nixaskarlovr says:

    Did I miss the shirt??? I red her post but didn’t see this shirt?

  2. bbrock525 says:

    It’s snowing at my house now. It’s an event in Mississippi.

    • msbuffy says:

      Snowing in Mississippi? That’s odd, and I bet it’s wreaking havoc on all the drivers! School closings too! It’s January, we’re in PA, there’s always snow, but you’d never know it by the way people react to just a dusting of snow! It’s ridiculous.

      • bbrock525 says:

        It was so cold. We didn’t have enough snow for it to stick this time. We are under a winter storm warning until Wednesday. Most of us have electric heat. It’s just not warm enough. When this unit goes out aim going with gas heat. If it does snow this week it will be an event. My boss’s daughter lives in Houston. I think they had more than us. The moisture was coming up from the gulf. Stay warm.

        • msbuffy says:

          Oh my goodness! I didn’t realize you only had electric heat there! I just take for granted that most folks have gas heat, but I guess some people don’t. It sure wouldn’t be warm enough! I can’t believe Houston had snow! Wow! I’m gonna keep you both in my thoughts & prayers for some better weather! We’re used to this in PA, but how do you cope when you never had to live with it? Stay in & stay warm! Have some hot chocolate!

  3. msbuffy says:

    Welcome back, kj! You’ve been missed! So sorry to read of all you’ve been going through, but it’s good to read that you’re getting through it! That pony has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! I’m sure it’ll be on all the sale tables soon…I’ll let you know where I find one! Too funny! Well, divorce is never fun for anyone; I’ve done it twice. I recommend copious amounts of alcohol, depending upon the mood! It really is great to see you back though!

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