And here was where I was going to embed the video for this, but because WordPress is a bitch it won’t allow me to embed any video that isn’t shit straight out of YouTube’s ass. So instead I’ll show you this:
To misquote a certain sexy Swede, Five degrees, mother fucker, FIVE DEGREES.
And that doesn’t take into consideration the wind chill factor, which – by my calculations and to quote my dearly departed father – makes it colder than a witch’s tit outside.
It’s true. I’m half Asian and making a broad sweeping generalization by declaring we never get our math wrong because our mothers smack the tops of our heads with wooden chopsticks so we’ll do our mommy homework multiplication tables while eating our breakfast, waiting for the schoolbus to carry us away from their crazy.
Or maybe that was just me?
And speaking of questionable parenting styles, thanks to my own, my kids got me this for Christmas, which I now have an occasion to use because the water pipes leading to my washing machine are frozen:
After years of watching their mother search her pockets in vain for this handy dandy bit of gold, they went ahead and got me a real one to replace my snarky one. Later on tonight they’ll get to watch their mother wash clothes in the kitchen sink. I wonder what that will get me next year.
And speaking of bits of gold, I have MissyDee to thank for this:
Because in my world:
And if you’re not following her WordPress page, you need to just stop what you’re doing and head on over there to see the pictures of when she met Alexander Skarsgard!
(Phonetically spelled, Alexander ERMAHGERD)
I didn’t notice what his shirt said until later on, but let’s just say from now on I will be carrying around copious amounts of change.
Nickels to be precise. 😉
I know I’ve been MIA for way too long and for that I apologize. I got divorced – from Work Wife (but I could end up divorced from House Hubs when he asks why I’m carrying so many nickels around). That has left my work schedule all over the damn place lately, but things are finally slowing back down so I should be able to get back on a somewhat normal schedule.
This chapter is a continuation of another universe of mine and is part one of two. If you’ve read my other crap, you might remember it. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, but if you want to be spoiled before reading it click here and then here.
If you’d rather just figure it out for yourself, here you go!