First, I feel like I should apologize because I fear that by throwing my admittedly selfish hopes of seeing Alex dressed up as a fireman out into the universe, the universe was forced to once again remind me I am its bitch.
I mean…I don’t get it.
Is this his way of giving us a 76 inch clue that shit just got real?
Is he showing his support for the LGBT cause?
Is it his way of celebrating a four year breakup anniversary?
Does anyone know why he chose to wear a gold formal number instead of a bare chest, some soot, and suspenders dangling at his sides?
Other than because I am the universe’s bitch.
And Alex(a) isn’t the only one the universe has chosen to bitchslap me with today.
None of the above is necessarily a deal breaker, but just the same – please excuse me, while I go find some chocolate to stuff my scowly face with.