I didn’t mean to “go dark” for so long. Not that I ever mean to go dark – unless we’re talking about my roots, because then yes, I absolutely meant to go dark – but, yeah. Story of my life.

Speaking of stories…

A couple of weeks ago we made the six hour drive down to Virginia to see The Boy for the weekend.

This was pretty much my view of him the entire time.
Somewhat hazy and a little out of focus.

But in reality, it was more like we drove The Boy’s girlfriend down to Virginia, so they could disappear into her hotel room doing things I don’t want to know anything about, all on my dime.

10,000 dimes, to be more precise.

I only saw him during mealtimes. Next time I’m just gonna Skype him, while I eat a PB&J sandwich. He might make a Boo-Boo Face at me, but my smiling wallet will cancel it out.

While we were stuck in this STOP-IT-ALREADY-AND-JUST-GO! traffic just outside of Washington DC:

I began to reread this:

And then stopped, with only 3 chapters left.

Then, a few days ago, the stars aligned because Meg and I were talking about TV shows and she mentioned how much she loved This Is Us. I’ve heard nothing but good things, but I haven’t watched it.


But I will. One day.

She declared her love of the character Jack, which had me declaring my lust for Milo Ventimiglia because HAWT! Which made me recall Milo is my visual muse for the Faepire, Ailill.

*cue lusty heart eyes*

Then four fucking days later Baby Daddy comes home and tells me:

“The cast from that TV show was in my office today. The one on the Today show.”

Suffice it to say, I didn’t know what in the hell he was talking about. Luckily for me, I learned to speak Baby Daddy like the natives going on 23 years ago and after a brief squinty-eyed hiccup over the difference between Lost and Heroes, I soon figured out he meant the cast of This Is Us was in his building, a mere twenty feet from his office door.

Which means MILO was a mere MILE from my office door.

Did Baby Daddy text me?

Did Baby Daddy call me?

Did Baby Daddy know of my fangirling over Milo Ventimiglia in particular?
Well, no.

But we’ve been together for going on 23 years now, so he should be able to know with one look the type of guy I would totally leave him for.

So I probably answered my own question there, but whatever.

He must’ve begged scraps from someone in the base media department because he brought home that autographed collage just yesterday in an effort to stop the death glares and snark that kept flying his way. I promptly mailed it off to Meg today because she is my Forever Love, while Baby Daddy is my First Husband.

 But that long ass drawn out story is to explain the who, what, when, where, why – all the wh’s – of how I got around to getting back to it. It being this fic.

Click the banner above to start over or clickety-click below to go to the newest chapter.

The Debt – Chapter Forty-Six – The Hollow 

8 comments on “Oy…

  1. Adriana says:

    Oh yes, Ma’am. Having 3 sons myself, I’ve been where you are now, walking 20 paces behind the boy in similar situations. And, denial? Wonderful thing when it comes to certain activities I’d rather bleach my brain than think about. And, Milo? Girl….I’ve been “admiring” (read stalk) since Gilmore Girls (Team Jess) and Heroes for a couple of episodes because I never got into that whole show. This is Us made me cry EVERY SINGLE EPISODE and Jack? oh Jack. I love Jack. I would love a Jack in my life.

  2. maryalma says:

    Ah, the joy of your children being legal adults but still acting like you are responsible for providing for them without any consideration for your feelings and little to no thanks for the time, effort and money you put in. Bet you had to pay for that hotel room too. We went through that too to a degree, worse with the older child, but both of our kids are now married, with a child of their own each, so it has gotten better. We have loaned money to each kid once they were married, but with a repayment plan for each. They will always be your child. The fact they provide you with grandchildren does help make up for some of the other crap.
    Ah, beltway traffic, when we travel and need to use routes near DC, we often drive at night to avoid the inevitable traffic jams. We are in the process of moving to central Virginia to be near our younger child, the older lives north of Baltimore plus my husband’s sisters live between DC and Baltimore so we have to figure out ways to bypass the beltway. We would rather travel a longer route that takes the same amount of time but avoids sitting in huge mobile parking lots otherwise known as traffic jams, because it is way less stressful and much safer. Those traffic jams breed more accidents when people stop paying attention and start rear ending you. It is amazing that the traffic problems around DC aren’t dealt with better, especially when they have the metro, much better public transportation than many other areas of the US, it seems like a metaphor for something that everyone knows it’s a huge problem but no one does anything about it. We have an obsession with having the convenience of our car instead of using public transportation when it is available despite the drawbacks of traffic jams, parking costs, environmental impact of driving a car with one person in it. My first trip (of 2 total) to Europe, I tagged along with my husband when he needed to be in Delft in the Netherlands for 3 weeks on business. They have great public transportation there, mostly by rail. The train stations had hundreds of bicycles parked outside, people rode their bikes there then took the train. Downtown Delft, the old city was closed to cars and trucks, though they had retractable barriers so police, ambulances, and night delivery trucks could get in. But mostly it was pedestrians and bikes. I even saw one bike with 3 child/infant seats. There were no people who were obese or more than slightly overweight, since they walk or bike most everywhere. The grocery store had tables after checkout so you could pack your groceries into bike panniers or backpacks to carry home. I realize it is like comparing apples and oranges, since the US has huge expanses of rural areas and the Dutch system can’t totally work here, but I was hugely impressed with the correlation between driving less, walking/biking more and decreased obesity.

  3. askarsgirl says:

    Omg. I swear to god your author’s notes are almost as good as your fics😜 You are too funny lady and you made me squeal to high heaven when I saw what you’d been rereading!!

  4. valady1 says:

    I had to laugh at the “visit” you had with your son..Having 3 sons, I completely relate to the experience. We never went anywhere without a girlfriend once the 2 younger ones got older. Trust in the fact that he will eventually start seeing you again, and actually have conversations with you and enjoy spending time being around you. It’s hard to get their attention when they are in love/lust. And I did end up with 3 lovely daughter-in-laws and 8 grandchildren, so in the end it was worth it.
    And now I’m off to read your lovely present, a new chapter of The Debt….

  5. maryalma says:

    Do you have any daughters? I was lucky enough to have one girl and one boy. Believe me, our daughter was much harder to deal with than my son. Some of that is the mother-daughter dynamic, females fighting for dominance are much worse than alpha males! Some of it was the fact that she is brilliant and competitive. I had my doctorate at age 23, so she had hers at age 22. While I was a country doctor because I wanted to take care of those people I grew up with who were neglected, she went into a sub specialty and does clinical research at Hopkins. She is at the top of her field, though she will not turn 30 until this summer. I think some of her decisions were based on seeing me work 80-100 hour weeks, nights, weekends, holidays, birthdays. She has much more regular hours. But we butted heads many times over her college/doctoral years.
    Our son was both easier and harder. He is also brilliant and competitive but his only ambition is to serve God. He did not date in high school, since he felt the only reason to date was to find a wife, and he wasnt ready to start looking. He said the difference between a friend and a girlfriend was sex, and he didnt believe in sex before marriage. He was determined to major in bible studies, but didn’t care about getting a degree. He just wanted to take the courses he wanted so he could study scripture. He also had a partial athletic scholarship and had been going to cross country camp at that Christian college since 7th grade, so he was close friends with some of the coaches, we talked with them and they were finally able to convince him that if he wanted to go into the missionary field, he needed to show commitment by getting his degree. He dated a few girls but had a very strict protocol. He would only date one at a time, he would discuss with the girl about dating, ask her father for permission to date her, write lots of letters, and if they reached a point where he thought that they were not compatible for marriage, he would break things off. He felt the only reason to date was to find a spouse. He had his heart broken once when he planned to fly out to Colorado to ask for the hand in marriage of one girl, he had asked for the plane ticket for Christmas but the girl called him from Colorado and broke up with him over the phone. I woke up to him (all 6’2″) in our bed sobbing talking with his dad. Turns out she was cheating on him anyway. He didn’t date for several months. He met his wife the start of senior year, proposed to her 5 months later, they had a lovely outdoor barefoot Christian hippie wedding, now they have been married 5 years and have a 8 month old son. Our son and his wife are about as perfect a match as possible, they both live their Christian lives, are minimalist not because it is trendy but because they don’t care about material things(you can’t even give them things for free that you want to get rid of, believe me, I have tried), attend a Mennonite church, live in a quirky log cabin in the middle of nowhere with no road, dont own a television or radio,have chickens and grow their own veggies. She went to grad school and is an art therapist, he works in construction and maintainance for a huge nursery and orchard in central Virginia. He had hoped to find a coaching job with a Christian college with a position teaching but only got as far as part time which doesn’t pay anything. He is working on getting his electrician certification. He volunteers for the church to teach sports and PE. When he completed his degree studies one semester early, he went to Nepal for 3 weeks to work at an orphanage and a leper colony, his future wife went to Tanzania for 6 weeks. Once they pay off her grad school loans, they will probably go back into the missionary field. They are happy and comfortable with their lives. He adores her and will never commit to any plans without saying he needs to check with his wife first, not like he is hen pecked, but because they are true partners.
    So we butted heads with both kids many times over many things. In the end, they are both good people who have chosen to work and live in a way to help others, have married and started families, and both want to see us often. We chose to retire to live close to our son, though both wanted us, but the cost of living is much lower near our son, and we are not far from our daughter. Plus, our son has much less income and we can help in subtle ways that he will accept, like babysitting. Our daughter in law calls me for medical advice and questions on the baby, even when her own mother is at their home. I was surprised when she called me instead of her mother a couple months after the wedding with a question about her birth control. I had figured she and our son were both virgins at their wedding knowing their beliefs, but of course she had never been on birth control and felt more comfortable asking me, a physician and her mother in law, her questions rather than her own mother. So in a way, I feel like I gained another daughter, one who is not competitive with me like my biological daughter.
    Sorry to be so long in getting my point across. I think it is very hard in many ways to deal with those transitional years, where your child is legally an adult but both you as the parent and they as the child have to adjust. They want all the privileges of adulthood but don’t have the means to support themselves, nor do they want your advice based on your own life experiences. On the other hand, as a parent, it is very hard to let them go and let them make their own mistakes, just as we did at their age, hoping they don’t screw up too badly and learn for themselves how life is. We were blessed that our kids came through pretty well, hopefully partially because we were decent parents, but I know plenty of people who were good parents whose kids went in bad directions through no fault of their parents. The world is a dangerous place. I have never seen my children as a gift, more of a loan. We get them for 18 years (hopefully ) then we have to give them up to the world and themselves, trying to have faith they will do all right. I wish you and your family the best.

  6. msbuffy says:

    Really glad at this moment I have a daughter who has a fit whenever I mention sex…at 31! I don’t know how she thinks she got here & I’m not asking. Skyping might be your best bet. Let the girlfriend spend her own money! YAY for you getting Milo’s autograph (and the rest of the cast), although I’m sure you would have rather seen him in person! He is HAWT! Can’t believe hubby didn’t even text you! OMG! He could have done that, then you could have told so he could have tried to sneak in a pic at least! Men!

  7. dettyfan says:

    ok, so i like your author notes though I don’t relate at all most of the time. still they are entertaining. having said that, I was really happy to see the banner of the debt as of what you been reading lately. it is a great fic. I hope that you will keep your muse going and finish this one. cheers

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