Time itself was my own personal dick block because the day was absolutely dragging.
Being tired as fuck from being newlyroomied with Eric – which meant fucking at all hours of the night in every room we now shared – wasn’t helping any, but had made the rest of the week fly by. Now though, when it was nearing quitting time on a Friday, I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
Even more so, knowing Eric didn’t have to go back to work until Sunday evening.
And knowing Ames was in the same boat as me – time-wise – I asked for the umpteenth time, “Time?”
Freezing for a moment as though I’d jinxed us both, only her eyes darted towards the clock on the wall, when a relieved smile lit up her face as she said, “Well, would you look at that? It’s fuckoff o’clock!”
“Sweet,” I smiled and grabbed my things. Meeting her at the door three seconds later, I asked, “See you at the Crow Bar in a few?”
It was the local dive that we normally hung out at, but tonight would be my and Eric’s coming out party of sorts. We hadn’t hidden the fact we’d moved in together – my Facebook status currently read ‘Living in sin with Eric Northman’ – but he had yet to meet any of my friends.
The last time he’d met me and Amelia at the bar didn’t count in my book, since I couldn’t remember it.
“Yep,” she smiled in return. “But I swear to God, if you two are too busy lipbanging, I’m not staying unless you let me join in.”
Not only was I denying the possibility of any public lipbanging happening, I was also denying her access to Eric’s lips.
Or any other part of him.
Never mind the fact that she knew she was the only one out of the two of us that walked both sides of the street.
But now that we were both standing on one side of a literal street, she only gave me a knowing look before changing the subject and asking, “Want me to wait with you?”
Shaking my head, I answered, “Eric should be here any minute.”
My car shit the bed a couple of days before and was in the shop, so he was picking me up. Which was why I was confused seeing the all too familiar pickup truck sidle up to the curb next to us.
“Isn’t that your brother?” she asked, sounding just as confused as I looked. “Because I don’t remember Officer Hotlips looking like Jason, but if he does and you end up marrying him, it’s going to squick me out.”
I felt my face crinkle up into a grimace, feeling a little squicked out myself at the thought, and she only made it worse by waving at him, while adding, “But I would shave for him either way.”
And then turning her grin towards me, she waggled her brow and added, “Either him.”
“Just…no!” I grimaced again, throwing my hand up in her face to block whatever else was on her mind that she was of the mind to share.
Especially knowing her thoughts weren’t the only things Amelia was known for sharing.
She and Jason had been Friends with Possibilities for a while now, but as far as I knew that was as far as it had gotten.
And I honestly didn’t want to know any more.
So before either sets of her loose lips could ruin my night before it had even started, I waved her off and got into the passenger’s seat asking, “Where’s Eric?”
But instead of answering me, he took off like a bat out of hell, making me grab ahold of the ‘Oh Shit’ handlebar with one hand, while I punched him in the arm with the other, yelling out, “Slow down, Ricky Bobby!”
“You’re one to talk,” he accused, with a side-eyed glare aimed my way.
“What in the hell are you talking about?” I asked and added, “And why are we barreling down the street like you’re a lost getaway driver?”
If he’d robbed a bank and I now had to help him reenact The Fast and the Fucked Up to evade the feds, I was gonna be pissed.
Unless he was bringing me to my own suped-up car to tear down the city streets, running point for him.
It would be both Fast and Fabulous.
But since that was unlikely – because Jason would have wanted the suped-up car for himself – I only continued to glare at him because I already had plans for the night that didn’t include aiding and abetting.
And I was wondering if I should bet that Jason needed a hearing aid when he calmly asked, “What’s this I hear about you moving into Eric’s place?”
I hadn’t talked to him since the barbecue the weekend before, but I knew from experience that a calm Jason was not a good thing.
Ranting? Railing? Raving mad?
Those I could deal with. But if he was so angry that he sounded completely at peace, I knew shit was about to hit the fan.
And with no way to evade him, now that he had me trapped in a car traveling way to fast to fling myself out without fucking myself up, I went with the first thing to come to mind.
After all, the best defense was a good offense.
“What’s this I hear coming from your pie hole, making you sound like I came out of your cum hole?” And in case he wasn’t aware, “You’re not my daddy.”
I was sure by that point he was someone’s daddy. While his nickname might have been Jay, he was no Mockingjay.
The odds just weren’t in his favor.
“Yeah,” he nodded and side-eyed me again, asking, “Do they know?”
I only shrugged because the last I’d known, neither one of them were on Facebook. Besides…
Better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
Not that I needed their permission. I was a grown ass woman, thank you very much.
And I could always hand off a few of Aunt Lin’s brownies to them before I broke the news.
“Don’t you think you shoulda talked to me before you went and shacked up with my best friend?” he asked.
“Why are you steppin’ on my dick?” I asked in return and without waiting for an answer, I gave him one with, “The fact I didn’t ask for your bropinion shoulda been your first clue, Columbo!”
So when he didn’t say anything – like his transmission – my mind went into overdrive and I ended up laughing out, “Wait a sec. Are you in overprotective brother mode or are you suffering from a case of platonic jealousy because you’re not Eric’s favorite Stackhouse anymore?”
As if I needed any more proof of the fact Jason was definitely the bottom in their relationship.
“I just feel like I oughta been consulted, is all,” he huffed and then shook his head, adding, “You’re my baby sister and he’s my best friend. I know both of y’alls major malfunctions, so the thought of you two sharing something more than his Tab A into your Slot B is making me twitch.”
Just hearing my big brother talking about me and Eric sharing anything like that was making my gag reflex twitch, so I shook it off and said, “Well quit worryin’. My craydar is fully calibrated and I haven’t gotten a single ping that Eric is a closet psycho.”
“That’s what’s got me concerned,” he replied grimly. “I’ve known him for five years and not once have I ever known him to hide anything, so I know he ain’t never lived the life of a monk. You all are movin’ way too fast for comfort and I’m worried that once the shine wears off, he’s gonna go back to the way he’s always been.”
“And how’s that?” I asked, suddenly feeling a small amount of concern myself because he was right.
My relationship with Eric had gone from zero to sixty-nine in a nanosecond. And Jason knew him way better than I did.
In every other sense than a carnal one.
“Like me,” he shrugged.
I didn’t like the idea of that one bit and it brought back Amelia’s earlier musings about me being with someone just like my brother.
I was more than just squicked out at the thought.
I was sad.
I’d always thought Jay’s manwhoring ways were funny. But the thought of being on the receiving end of that lifestyle, when I’d already let my shields down with Eric, wasn’t something I was amused by in the least.
And remembering he’d had yet to answer my very first question, I repurposed it into an accusation, by asking, “Is that why you picked me up instead of Eric?”
Was the shine on our new relationship already fading?
“No,” he calmly answered and now that we were in the parking lot of the Crow Bar, he finally turned to look at me full-on for the first time since I’d gotten in his truck.
So I could see the makings of his own shine on his face.
Specifically, a shiner forming over his left eye.
“As you can see,” he began, pointing at his face. “I already had a sit-down with Eric this afternoon and when we were done, I told him I would be havin’ one with you. That’s why I picked you up instead of him.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh at Eric’s vehement response – which, admittedly made me feel better – or to even Jason out by punching his right eye.
Who in the hell did he think he was, trying to stir up shit in my shiny and new shit-free relationship?
But seeing the worry on his face – underneath the swelling, that is – I remembered who he was.
My big brother.
So, I supposed, that gave him a free pass to be a dick every now and then, when it came to other people’s dicks getting anywhere near his baby sister.
I could let it slide this one time.
But remembering his spiel about being knowledgeable in both of our major malfunctions, I asked, “What did you warn Eric about when it came to me?”
“Other than about you bein’ my baby sister and he was violating the Bro Code that says he should automatically keep his dick beaters to himself?” he asked and then shrugged, “Just that you’re not normally one to stick with anyone for long.”
“What do you mean?” I asked completely affronted.
It wasn’t as though I could point to any one guy and say, ‘Him. I was with him for a while!’
Because the hypothetical ‘him’ didn’t exist.
Not for more than a few weeks, anyway.
“Sook,” he started, with his cop glare aimed my way. “You never stick with any one guy for long and it ain’t like you didn’t earn the Stackhouse Family Award for bein’ a, ‘Track Star’. You bolt like your first name is Usain anytime shit ain’t goin’ your way.”
I did not!
But I wondered if I’d yelled my thoughts out loud because he added, “Hell, you ran all the way back home when you cut that pussy Compton loose.”
Meh meh meh meh meh meh meh…
“I cut Bill loose because he didn’t know what to do with my pussy,” among other things, “But Eric’s different.”
He knew what to do with my pussy, among other things.
But it was more than just that.
Yes, everything so far had progressed really fast.
Yes, at times, I had been seriously fucked up.
But there was something about him that had made me trust him from the get-go. More than booze or pot-laced brownies, he seemed to fit me beyond his Tab A into my Slot B.
It was like he was my missing puzzle piece.
But I wasn’t going to share with my doofus brother that I was pretty sure he was the one.
So I shared something else along those lines by admitting, “He’s not like anyone else.”
And because I’d warned him about running Eric off a week earlier, I felt no remorse when I punched his thigh close enough to his baby maker to make him lurch forward and smack his head into the steering wheel, only saying with a smile, “See you inside big brother.”
I knew his interfering came from a good place. He was worried about us both. And given Jason – as a general rule – didn’t give a shit about much of anything, it said a lot that he cared enough to speak up.
He’d calm his tits eventually.
Maybe sooner than later if I could find him a new pair to hold onto for the night.
So when I walked into the bar, with my eyes scanning the crowd for tits (for Jason) and ass (Eric’s in particular), I didn’t have to look for very long to find either one.
Because Dawn Green’s tits were hovering too close to Eric’s ass for my comfort.
I knew her – in that I knew she was one of Jason’s booty calls – and hadn’t cared about her one way or the other. But seeing her flirt with Eric made me feel something unexpected.
Because the only things he seemed to be feeling at the moment were exasperation and annoyance. That is, until his eyes met mine and a slow sexy smile lit up on his face.
Just for me.
It was then that I knew.
More than just the fact Jason had nothing to worry about at all.
But just as quickly, all thoughts left me, because surely I was seeing things when someone who looked just like Bill Compton came to stand in front of him, effectively cockblocking me from Eric’s view.
Thank God Sookie had gotten there when she did.
I’d been taught to never hit a woman, but Dawn was really pushing her luck.
And I doubted Sookie would have the same moral dilemma about punching her that I had.
But seeing her standing there in the doorway of the bar, staring back at me with a smile on her face, I felt a ridiculous amount of relief.
Just like I’d known I wanted Sookie from the first time I laid eyes on her, I’d known Jason would have something to say about it eventually. And I was admittedly worried he would say something to her on the drive over that would change her mind about us, but I understood where he was coming from.
And Jason had understood where I was coming from, learning the hard way just that afternoon, I would have no moral dilemma to contend with about beating the shit out of him for it either.
But my right hook to his left eye seemed to get my point across that Sookie wasn’t like any of the other women in my past.
Something he would know if he’d been a telepath.
It had only been nine hours since I’d last seen her, but it had felt like forever. We even lived together now for Christ’s sake, so it was insane that I still got dick butterflies around her.
I had a heart on for her something fierce.
Never mind the fact she had an ass and pair of tits that made me want to declare myself a Sherpa so I could climax all over her peaks.
And seeing Jason coming up behind her, I thanked fucking God that he wasn’t a telepath.
But my thoughts of ‘peaks’ were soon changed to ‘peaked’ when my view was suddenly cut off by an exceptionally pale male.
I backed up a little, hoping his lack of color didn’t mean he was about to vomit at any given second, but I shot forward again feeling a foreign set of twin peaks at my back.
Something I’d never done.
She was pretty enough that I might have given her a go B.S. – Before Sookie – had I not known that Jason had already been there.
No way was I up for his sloppy seconds, even if the Bro Code hadn’t frowned on me hitting one of his regular booty calls.
But if she kept hitting on me, I had no doubt his sister would hit her.
I may have even been looking forward to seeing it.
But thoughts of Jell-O wrestling quickly vanished, as I wrestled with another kind of pasty, hearing the pale male say, “I would appreciate it if you would stay away from my girlfriend.”
“What?” I asked, not understanding him at first, but it wasn’t my fault.
It sounded like he had marbles in his mouth.
Or Rhett Butler’s cock.
And my confusion was only compounded when he replied, “Sookeh.”
Running back through his marble garble, I was almost certain I’d deciphered – what had clearly come out of his asshole, given how puckered the hole was in his assface – the gist of his words correctly.
He thought Sookie was his girlfriend?
And I couldn’t help myself.
And I laughed even harder when she suddenly appeared in between us, facing him and asking, “What in the hell are you doing here?”
He seemed thrown off by being confronted by her, so I thought I’d help to right his world by waving at the bar and offering, “Thirsty? Can I get you a Mint Julep or perhaps a Sarsaparilla?”
Maybe he was a Bizzaro World Marty McFly?
Instead of taking a DeLorean Back to the Future, he had a horse and buggy outside to get Back to the Past?
He appeared even paler – nearly translucent – but his skin pinked up a bit when she bit her lip to keep from laughing with me and said indignantly, “Sweetheart. I know you are angry with me, but this has gone on for long enough. I’ve forgiven you your transgressions and I think it’s time for you to come back to Seattle with me.”
He was obviously batshit crazy, but Sookie had known who Drunk Jane was, so maybe he was on her craydar too. However, I wasn’t worried because I knew I could take him.
And I knew he was unarmed thanks to his belted Dockers and tucked in Polo shirt.
“My transgressions?” she glared.
Given her tone – one that had gotten her brother nut tapped in the past – I picked up the bowl of beer nuts from the bar and sat back to watch the show.
And she didn’t disappoint.
Poking her finger into his chest – honestly, I was surprised it hadn’t gone straight through him, like a piece of piss soaked toilet paper – she said, “If by transgressions you mean fucking Eric until I can’t help but walk like I rode on horseback from New York to L.A., I’ve done nothing that requires your forgiveness. We broke up. I’m with Eric. I live with Eric. I fuck Eric.”
What she said!
And I would be nursing a semi all night, if she kept talking like that.
But hearing her admit to being in some sort of relationship with him in the past – for them to have broken up – I was still wondering who he was, when Jason cleared things up by coming up to stand next to me and greeted him with, “Pussy.”
So this was the famed floppy dick, Bill Compton.
And recalling Jason’s dumbass-but-well-meant warning from that afternoon, it was no wonder Sookie had run back to Louisiana as fast as she could.
But seeing him, I wondered what in the hell she’d seen in him to want to date him.
And my fists clenched when I came to the only logical conclusion.
He must have drugged her.
Ignoring Jason, Compton harrumphed – and blew his bangs out of his eyes – looking only at Sookie as he chastised her with, “There is no need to be crass. Proper young ladies don’t speak that way.”
“Proper young ladies?” she laughed. “I was never a proper young lady, Bill. I only faked it with you. Like orgasms.”
“Buurrrnn…” Jason coughed.
And I didn’t even have to worry she’d done the same with me.
I’d never seen her be a proper young lady.
It was a trait I more than admired about her.
Besides that, she’d cum so hard around my dick, I was lucky to have gotten him back when we were through.
His name held true in many ways.
But seeing Compton getting even more flustered, I thought to add to his misery by standing up.
And – thereby – tower over him.
Moving Sookie behind me, I stared down at him and said much more calmly than I actually felt, “I think it’s time for you to go now. And by go, I mean hop on a plane back to Seattle. The fact that you’ve stalked my girlfriend halfway across the country isn’t sitting well with me.”
And putting my face right in front of his, I added lowly, “And if you bother her again, I’ll make sure you can’t sit at all.”
“If she’s your girlfriend,” he sneered, “Then why hasn’t she changed her address on any of her identification? Even she knows she’s coming back to me.”
I’d already known about the address thing, having gone through her purse when she was still flying on her laced-brownie high, and asked her about it.
But the fact that he’d known about it made the idea he’d been stalking her all the more real. And it was only compounded by the fact that he’d known where she would be that night and who I was, for him to have approached me first.
She’d said he’d done something that had to do with computers, but I didn’t know what.
But now I would make sure to find out.
First things first, though.
I grabbed ahold of his shirt collar and dragged him through the bar and out the backdoor.
Less witnesses that way.
Throwing him against the dumpster out back, I waited for his body to crumple to the ground before standing over him and repeating, “Go back to Seattle. Forget about Sookie. Even if she wasn’t mine, I know her well enough to know that she’d never be yours. But if you come near her again, you will regret it.”
“Are you threatening me?” he scoffed.
I’d known Jay was standing in the doorway behind me without even looking, but he made himself known anyway by whining, “You clock me in the eye for lookin’ out for my baby sister and you do nothin’ to him?”
“Not true,” I replied and turned to face him with a forced smile.
At that moment, my mind was having him drawn and quartered to go along with his weird yesteryear speech pattern.
It was the first time I could truly understand the want to kill someone, but being in prison would seriously fuck up my free time with Sookie.
It was probably the only thing that was stopping me.
So I tried to appease myself with the fact there was no sport in beating up on someone who was half your size.
And possibly a hermaphrodite, if you believed both Stackhouse siblings.
Leaving Compton where he was, we reentered the bar together, with Jay throwing his hand on my shoulder and asking sympathetically, “Wanna go to Vegas and fuck up some commas?”
I couldn’t help but smile at the hope in his voice, but seeing Dawn staring down Jason like he was dinner made me nod towards her and say, “I think your dance card is filled for the night, Tinderella.”
Looking up at her, he quickly looked back at me and said, “She’s been breadcrumbing me all week, but I been ignorin’ her texts. You might have to take one for the team.”
“Seriously?” I stared back at him.
After the speech he’d made that afternoon?
After the black eye I’d given him for his troubles?
Now he was trying to push his Glenn Close booty call onto me?
“Seriously,” he nodded, well…seriously. Then grabbing onto my hand – which had formed into a fist by that time – he started to drag me out onto the dance floor, while saying, “But you gotta make it believable and let me lead this time.”
“Fuck you,” I laughed, shoving him away.
And, from the looks of it, into who would surely be his companion for the rest of the night by the way she was eye fucking him.
Making my way back to Sookie at the bar – who was being entertained by the owner, Chow – I sat down next to her and cheesily asked, “Come here often?”
“Nope,” she smiled and when Chow made his way to the other end of the bar, she added, “I haven’t cum here once. And now that you’ve seen firsthand what becomes of those who do not make me cum, I would think you’d be trying harder.”
“I can’t believe you…dated him,” I chuckled, nearly-but-at-the-last-second refraining from saying ‘fucked’.
I couldn’t really throw stones there.
Glass houses and all.
“You know my family,” she grinned. “He was my rebellious phase.”
I did know her family and they would have eaten him alive.
Adele would have made JamBillaya, for sure.
But unable to keep quiet about what was really bothering me about it all, I offered more stoically, “He concerns me.”
Her eyes grew wide, as she immediately started off with, “You can’t possibly think I’d go back to him.”
But I cut her off with a shake of my head and pulled her body closer to me, saying, “No, I’m concerned that he appears to be stalking you.”
So when she looked like she was going to argue my point, I pointed out, “He knew you haven’t switched over your driver’s license. He knew who I was and where we would be tonight.”
But seeing the worry begin to form on her face, I tried to lighten the mood by smiling with, “And he wore a Polo shirt, tucked into his pleated khaki Dockers. If that’s not wooing wear, then I don’t know what is.”
It worked – somewhat – but then she got quiet, leaning against me for a while before saying, “He works for a tech firm in Seattle, but my eyes glazed over whenever he talked about his job, so I’m not really sure what he does. But for all I know, he could have installed some type of spyware onto my computer when we were together. And I haven’t changed any passwords for anything. Ever. So maybe I’ll start there and see what happens.”
Or maybe there would be an unexpected meal at the alligator farm at some point in the near future.
But we could give her idea a shot first.
Deciding to change the subject, I looked at her and asked, “So…Jason didn’t scare you off of me?”
Obviously not, since she was there with me. In my arms. Where she belonged.
But that didn’t mean I hadn’t threatened to blacken his other eye and make him The Bandit to my Smoky if he’d succeeded.
But that didn’t mean he wasn’t excited over the thought of hauling ass in a 70’s Pontiac Firebird.
“Nah,” she smiled lazily and then looked up at me through her lashes. “And even if he had, seeing you act like Dawn was infected with Super Herpes when I walked in here would’ve sealed the deal.”
“Super Herpes is nothing to sneeze at,” I smiled back at her, just as she leaned up for a kiss. And when it started to become more heated than I was prepared for, something else she’d said that night came to mind.
Standing up, I kept her pinned to my body as I started making our way towards the back of the bar, with her giggling out, “I feel like a marionette. Where are we going, Puppet Master?”
Leaning down, I whispered into her ear, “We’re going to find somewhere private where I’m going to try really hard to make sure you get to cum here at least once.”
No way was I giving her any reason to leave me.
Besides, I always did like a challenge.
And I knew if Lucky’s name held true, then she wouldn’t be the only one to cum here tonight.