I was lost in my own mind imagining Sookie’s theoretical white trash sister and hooker cousin, thinking I’d take her dipshit brother over them any day of the week and twice on Sunday. He seemed a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but it would be hard to miss the charisma oozing off of him and an ‘aw shucks’ demeanor, so after thinking it over I doubted we had much to worry about from his interview. Hell, he probably had a new fan following. But a drug addicted lot lizard cousin turning tricks at some random truck stop along an interstate? That would be hard to publicly laugh off.
My attention was brought back to their conversation when I heard the word ‘fiancé’ and listened as Sookie said his name. John Quinn. At first I thought it couldn’t be the same John Quinn I knew from the gym, but as it turned out that was exactly who he was. Un-fucking-believable.
I knew who Quinn was in passing over the years and while I’d never really talked to him, I always got the distinct vibe he didn’t like me. I didn’t give two shits and just ignored the missing triplet from SNL’s ‘We’re going to pump you up’ skit thinking he was nothing more than a bald headed purple pansy eyed fucking pussy. What guy has purple fucking eyes?
It was Tray who had brought up his name during one of our private workout sessions a couple of years earlier asking what I had done to Quinn for him to hate me so much. I’d had no idea what he was talking about, but according to Tray, Quinn couldn’t bad mouth me fast enough to anyone who would listen.
Like I said, I didn’t give two shits. There were always people who didn’t like me for whatever reason, be it jealousy or my acting or my choice of women, so I lost no sleep over wondering where his hatred came from. But, I also excelled at being an asshole and wished it was a sport because I would have gone pro, so when Tray began telling me how Quinn liked to chase tail at the gym, even though he was engaged, I thought I’d give him a little competition. I would watch from across the room as Quinn would select his prey for the day and walk over putting all of my best moves on whomever he’d chosen. They’d drop him faster than Lindsay Lohan drops bail money.
The only good thing I could say about Quinn was that he always went for hot women, so at least I didn’t have to worry about following through. It pissed him off. Every. Single. Time. And the best part was there wasn’t anything he could really do about it. I was a paying customer, as were the other women, and Quinn merely worked there, so he couldn’t outwardly retaliate with anything stronger than glaring at me with his creepy colored eyes. It quickly became one of my favorite pastimes.
Tray had spoken of Quinn’s fiancé and how she was a sweet girl that deserved someone better than him, but I figured she must have been an airhead or blind to not know what kind of guy Quinn was. Or maybe she was just as bad as him and fucking whomever on the side as well, but now that I’ve met her? I seriously had my doubts that had been the case at all.
While Sookie’s brother could become President of the National Association of Mimbos, I no longer kidded myself that she was any sort of bimbo. She couldn’t have held her own with Pam for this long if that were the case and the sheer fact that Pam kept coming at her without her backing down was garnering Sookie some respect from not just me, but Pam as well.
It would also be fun to rub it in his face that the girl he’d actually wanted enough to propose to and then lost due to his fucking around had married me, the guy that kept stealing his fuck buddies and hindering his fucking around. I guess, in a way, I’d been unknowingly doing Sookie a favor by being a competitive asshole with her former ‘lying cheating bastard.’
But when she opened her mouth warning me again about the yearlong pussy ban (like I would’ve forgotten!), my pendulum instantly swung to ‘seek and destroy’ and I opened my mouth, about to tell her that maybe if she hadn’t been such a bitch, she could have had Quinn’s dick all to herself and I shocked myself finding I couldn’t do it. Something inside of me put the brakes on my mouth knowing what a low blow that would be to her and I felt both sides warring inside myself with one wanting to give her her comeuppance and the other wanting to protect her from it at the same time.
It felt odd to say the least, but the side wanting to protect her came out ahead with my mouth staying shut.
I spent the rest of the ride silently staring out the window wondering what it was about this girl that was making me feel and do things that were out of character for me. Sadly, I never found the answers in the passing scenery and before I knew it we were at my house.
I had involuntarily tensed up hearing Pam warn Sookie about my father, but like being ‘Pam’d’, there was really no way to prepare her for him. She’d just have to experience it for herself and hopefully be able to hold her own because if he scented any fear or weakness coming from her, she didn’t stand a chance. I had no doubts he would be waiting at my house when we got there and wanting an explanation as well as dishing out his disapproval over our marriage.
He was my main supporter and biggest adversary all rolled into one, which was confusing as a child, but I learned to cope. Add in his love affair with Jim Beam and Johnny Walker; let’s just say I was glad to have Pam in my life and on my side as a buffer. His alcoholism would necessitate keeping him ignorant of the truth surrounding our marriage because he’d gone off on drunken rants to strangers that turned out to be reporters in the past. If he and Sookie didn’t get along, which I didn’t think they would, he’d have no problem throwing us both under the bus the next time his bottle ran dry and he got pissed off over me ruining his life. I’d been hearing that one for as long as I could remember, so it was nothing new.
As soon as he opened the door I could smell the stale whiskey on his breath before he opened his mouth calling my new bride a tart and questioning if I had fallen in love with her tits. While they appeared to be spectacular, I didn’t love them. I was in very deep like with them though and wouldn’t mind getting to know them better.
Before I could say a word though, Sookie took matters into her own hands. Literally. She left a hand print on his left cheek and a scathing, “How dare you!” left her lips while I heard Pam toss in a, “Prick.”
I looked down seeing her flushed with anger, for once not directed at me, and snickered over the fact my new bride wasn’t only a blushing one, but a slap-happy one too. Sookie definitely had a fiery personality so at least it wouldn’t be an uninteresting year. Hopefully my forlorn cock would find solace in that if he couldn’t find solace inside of her.
I caught sight of my father’s arms tensing and his chest puff up out of the corner of my eye. I didn’t think he would try to hit her back, but I wasn’t taking any chances and stepped in front of Sookie blocking her from him completely. The space in between them wasn’t all that big to begin with and I could feel the breasts that were the current cause of our standoff, pressed against my back for the briefest of moments before Sookie took a step back. I held back my grin at my newfound knowledge I’d guessed correctly that they were real (I’d done a lot of research in my time) and instead looked my father in the eye saying, “Back off. You don’t even know her and she sure as hell doesn’t deserve to hear some fucked up shit like that meeting her father-in-law for the first time.”
He actually seemed shocked I’d stood up to him, probably because I rarely did, but if he didn’t learn to leave her alone now he never would. He’d either relentlessly torment her or try to fuck her, possibly both, but I didn’t want to have to spend the next year having to deal with it, nor did I think Sookie would want to either.
He glared back at me before finally turning and walking back into the house towards the living room. Pam brushed past me to go inside and turned around to face us, digging in her enormous purse, saying, “I could’ve sworn I had your balls in here, but I guess you took them back. Good job putting them to use.”
She turned towards the living room and I started walking after her until I realized Sookie wasn’t behind me. I turned around and saw her still standing just outside the still open front door with no discernable expression on her face. The blush from her anger was gone along with the fire from her eyes. Now she almost seemed insecure, so I walked towards her and when I took her hand in mine without thinking, I realized she was trembling a little. Worried, I asked, “Are you okay? He can be a real dick, but he should back off for now.”
She didn’t answer me at first and we stood there, holding hands, for a moment when a sound to the side caused both of our heads to turn in time to see a squirrel digging in the mulched flowerbed next to the house. I looked back at her and teased, “I guess you weren’t kidding about them flocking around your feet, huh.”
Her smile broke the tension in her shoulders and I filed the knowledge away that joking with her when she was upset made her feel better. I glossed over the fact I wanted to remember how to make her feel better by justifying it with the simple fact it would make the next year go by easier for both of us.
Sookie finally seemed to find her voice and admitted, “I didn’t know ‘difficult’ was a synonym for ‘asshole’.”
Wondering if I still needed to keep it light to keep her spirits up I said, “So is wrinkle star.”
“What?” she asked.
“And balloon knot,” I answered.
Her eyebrows furrowed before she playfully smacked my chest with the slap-happy hand I wasn’t holding and she lost the battle to not smile as she laughed while scolding me with, “I was not asking for synonyms for the word ‘asshole’!”
The sound of her laugh and seeing it reach her eyes made me feel…I wasn’t sure and it brought back my earlier ruminations. I brushed it off figuring whatever I was feeling was probably just tied to my dick and knowing she would be my only acceptable option for the next year, so I’d just have to work a little harder to get her to give in.
“I know but it’s more fun thinking up those than about him,” I sighed, “but he won’t be around much and I’ll have the locks changed so he can’t just come in on his own anymore now that you’re going to be living here.”
“He doesn’t live here?” she asked with relief?
“Hell no!” What a fucking nightmare that would be.
She peered up at the house and moved her head from side to side looking in through the open front door before asking, “So who else lives here besides you?”
I could tell she was chewing on the inside of her bottom lip in thought before asking, “So it’ll just be you and me living here? Alone?”
As I nodded my head in reply, my dick twitched again. More like it was a drug sniffing dog and she was a kilo of coke which was a bad analogy since I was staying away from coke, but still. I found she was much nicer to be around when she wasn’t screeching at me and even when she was screeching, I still wanted to fuck her.
And it would just be me and her here.
Me and her.
I’d never really had the need or desire to work for any woman’s attention, but for whatever reason I didn’t mind having to put in the extra work with Sookie. My mind started making plans like having to make sure there were plenty of bottles of water in the pantry for me to pour down my naked chest whenever she was looking and, ever the opportunist, I surprised her by scooping her up in my arms bridal style like I had earlier that day.
“What are you doing?” she gasped in surprise.
“I’m doing what the groom is supposed to do when he gets his bride home. I’m carrying you over the threshold.” And she totally missed my hand running over her ass on its way to hook under her legs. I fell instantly ‘in like’ with both her ass and her legs and wanted to get to know them better too, just as soon as I was BFF’s with her breasts.
“But…” she started to protest.
Inhaling and enjoying her scent again, I interrupted her by saying, “Shh…my father will hear you,” and quickly darted inside so my father actually would be able to hear her in case I had pushed my luck and was about to be Sookie’d.