Oh HELL no!
No fucking way! No fucking way! No fucking way!
My head started turning every which way trying to find someone who would notice me struggling, but the seatbelt held my body fast against the seat. It dug into my shoulders as I pushed against it with all of my might, with my legs joining in and flailing about, but there was no fucking way I was letting him do anything to my baby.
I would just as soon die first.
“Sookeh! What are you doing?” that fuck face asked.
I’m trying to picture Eric’s bare chest or ass in the hopes that Wicked and Immoral will break free you asshole.
It was no use though because all I could picture was gouging that fucker’s balls off with a rusty spoon if he tried to do anything to my baby, but with all of my jostling in my seat I could feel my cell phone tucked away in my cleavage and I wanted to burst into tears knowing no amount of chanting ‘Wonder Twin powers activate’ would get them to dial 911.
“Sookeh!” he yelled. “Stop that before you hurt yourself!”
Now that I knew what his intentions were, I no longer gave a flying fuck about trying to appease him by staying calm and yelled back, “Hurt myself? You’re telling me that you want to murder my baby after you just told me you murdered my cousin, and you’re worried I’ll hurt myself? FUCK YOU! I’ll fucking kill you myself!”
“Sookeh!” he gasped before getting angry again and growling out, “Proper southern ladies do not use that kind of language, nor will you.”
Was he fucking serious? That asshole didn’t KNOW ME as well as he thought he did.
I continued to struggle in my seat while becoming every bit as crazy as him, yelling at the top of my lungs, “FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK YOU GODDAMN FUCKING CRAZY ASS DOUCHEBAG DICKFACE MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE COCKSUCKER!”
My head snapped to my right before I could feel the sting of his slap to the left side of my face and I tasted the blood on my lips as I momentarily fell silent. I turned to face him again, fully intending on giving him another defiant ‘Fuck you!’ for his troubles, but when his eyes dropped down to look at my belly, I stopped. He could hit me all he wanted – anywhere but there – and he seemed to realize he once again had me bound – my mouth this time – with nothing more than his threatening gaze, but even so he started to reach into his pocket, saying, “Perhaps I should just sedate you again and keep you that way until we’re in Mexico and it’s all over with.”
“No,” I choked out, now terrified again of what I could wake up to. “Please don’t.”
Please don’t sedate me.
Please don’t kill my baby.
But please tell me those are police sirens I hear in the distance.
Bill seemed to hear them too because his eyes darted to his rearview mirror while I tried to turn around in my seat hoping they were somehow coming after us. I couldn’t begin to guess how they would know I just so happened to be kidnapped by him, but I prayed for it anyways while he slowed his speed, I assumed hoping they would pass us by. I had no way of signaling them I needed help, so I continued to try and get my arms free, without calling too much attention to myself this time, while he continued to drive with one eye on his mirrors.
And then my prayers were answered.
I watched his knuckles turn white as they tightened on the steering wheel when the sounds of the sirens started blaring from directly behind us, but my relief was short lived when he accelerated from the sixty-five miles per hour we’d been traveling upwards to hover near ninety.
“What are you doing?” I asked, starting to panic all over again. “It’s over! The police are here so there’s no way you’re getting me to Mexico! Just pull over and give yourself up before you get us both killed!”
I really didn’t give a damn if he died and very much hoped I would have the opportunity to help him along in that regard, but I didn’t want to die in some horrific car crash and hoped I could get him to see reason.
But I’d temporarily forgotten he was crazy and therefore unreasonable.
“No!” he growled while making some dangerous moves in between lanes of cars. “I’ve worked too hard to get to this point. I’ve sacrificed over and over and now that I finally have you, I’m not letting you go!”
Christ…he was crazier than a shithouse rat.
“To get to what point? Having your goddamn mug shot on CNN’s Headline News? You don’t have me!” I argued back, feeling a little more confident now that he was too busy trying to watch the road to bother with physically threatening me, while ignoring the fact, that technically, he did have me restrained at his side, but I wasn’t something he could ever own.
Eric owned me in a way no one else ever could and always would.
He continued to dodge cars left and right making me reevaluate my hasty assessment of Eric’s driving skills, so I thought it best to just not look at the images blurring by and asked, “What did you honestly think would happen? That I would miraculously fall in love with you after you stole me away from my life? My husband? I’ve loved Eric from the time I was ten years old and there is nothing you could do to ever change that!”
“Trust me,” he snarled with his head turning to face mine and the dangerous look in his eyes was the only thing that kept me from yelling at him to watch the fucking road as he added, “There are ways to break you down, By the time I’m through with you, you’ll worship the ground I walk on.”
Only if you’re buried underneath it while I squat down and drop a huge pile of shit on top.
I couldn’t see any way he would be able to get away from the police cars that were chasing us, so if anything, I could at least look forward to my fiery death instead of whatever fucked up nightmare he’d planned on me living through. As far as I was concerned, it was the preferable option of the two and I looked away from him trying to come to some sort of peace in my mind. If I was going to die, I didn’t want my last image to be of his demented fugly ass, so I closed my eyes with the one person who mattered to me the most filling my mind’s eye.
It had always been Eric; years before we’d ever met, but what had been a superficial fan girl crush was now full blown love for the man underneath the pretty face. His ego knew no bounds, but that too was superficial because I knew he didn’t see himself as I did. Out of all of his faults, the biggest one of the bunch was that he never gave himself enough credit for being the good person that he truly was inside. Once you got through the protective layers he’d built up out of necessity to protect himself from the people who only wanted what his celebrity or money could give them, underneath it all he had a heart of gold and I’d been fortunate enough that he’d given it to me. If I was going to die now, I could only hope and pray that he would take care of it and cherish it like I would have had we gotten to live the life we’d dreamed of sharing together.
The tears spilled from my eyes once more, but instead of coming from the fear and worry for my own wellbeing, they were for Eric’s. Losing both me and the Bean in one foul swoop would hit him hard, but he had his dad back in his life now and I honestly believed his intentions were sincere, so I hoped that would be enough to get him through it until one day, hopefully a long time from now, we could meet up again in the afterlife.
And perhaps even get to remember that second first meeting after it happened.
As I continued to silently say my goodbyes to the rest of my family and friends, I could feel the car veering left and right, but I kept my eyes closed until I’d said farewell to them all and when I opened them again, I was surprised to see we were passing Miramar Naval Air Station.
It sure wasn’t any fun being taunted by God.
I didn’t want to, but couldn’t stop myself from playing the ‘if only’ game; if only I’d stayed home; if only I’d stayed in bed with Eric the night before I would’ve likely been trapped by his pterodactyl like arm span when I woke up and not been able to make a silent getaway; if only I’d listened to his concerns about what I now couldn’t argue had been a good idea about me having a bodyguard; if only I’d told him once today that I loved him.
That was my biggest regret at the moment, but I couldn’t do anything more than push my love for him out into the atmosphere and hope that he felt it wherever he was however when I felt the car jerk and opened my eyes in time to see that we were now airborne, I wondered if I might have pushed too hard and my unknown superpower was now going to bite me in the ass.
Why couldn’t I have been gifted with the power to teleport instead?
I screamed at the top of my lungs and my eyes slammed shut with me not wanting to see death coming for me as I tried to brace myself for impact having nothing more to use than my legs and feet, but I felt the car flip over once before slamming down hard and the airbag deployed at the same time I could hear the sounds of glass breaking and metal twisting while we continued to spin and skid forward into something else that caused another deafening crunch. It all happened so fast and it felt like we were both still moving and not at the same time, but I was afraid to open my eyes and it wasn’t until I could hear the sounds of people shouting over the blaring of the police sirens that I finally forced them open.
And I really wished I hadn’t.
Hello. My name is Sookie Northman and I have a fear of falling.
Not down steps or even from great heights like the top of Eric’s head, but tall buildings? Yes. Roller coaster drops? Absolutely. I’d had countless nightmares in the past of me driving along the interstate only to come to a section where part of the road is missing, except I didn’t have Keanu Reeves at my side to push my foot down onto the gas pedal and cage my body with his own as our transit bus leapt the impossible distance.
Because I wasn’t as lucky as Sandra Bullock.
But in those dreams I would always wake up before I got to the edge and my eyes unwillingly glanced over at my would be Dennis Hopper only to see he’d been knocked unconscious and appeared to be painfully pinned down by the pushed in steering wheel.
That asshole had all of the luck.
So I was left being the unlucky one that got to see how we’d managed to come to a stop; on the side of an overpass; and I do mean on the side because from what I could tell it was just our front tires keeping us there.
Dear God. This is Sookie. You can stop taunting me any time now. Kthxbai.
I didn’t want to look around too much, or breathe for that matter, because I could feel the ass end of the car dangling in the air, but of course my eyes didn’t get the strongly worded memo my brain was trying to send and they assured the rest of us that yes, we were impossibly high up in the air and those rocks way down below didn’t look cushiony at all.
If we did fall, I hoped they got gouged out first. Sadistic bitches.
The side we’d ended up on was in between the north and southbound lanes, so with every big rig that went by behind us, the car swayed that much more in the resulting breeze and I really wished someone would get them to knock that shit off already, but I was too afraid to yell out, or blink, and cause the car to move any more than it already was.
“Mrs. Northman? Can you hear me?” I heard a man’s voice yell out and I cautiously moved my eyes upwards where they landed on a police officer standing close to where the front of the car was resting, but in my delirium all I could think of was how good Eric would look in that uniform.
Even now my fucking hormones ruled my world.
“Are you hurt?” he asked once he’d given me the chance to answer and since I didn’t, I could only hope he attributed it to my shock from the accident and not my wondering over the possibility he had a spare uniform in his trunk in Eric’s size.
“No,” I finally managed to say. Both the windshield and window on my side had broken open in the accident, so I could hear him clearly and added, “I don’t think so.”
“Don’t move,” he warned. “The car isn’t stable.”
That’s okay…neither am I.
“I can’t move,” I answered instead since my brain’s whorish ways weren’t any of his business. “My hands are tied behind my back and I’m locked in by the seatbelt.”
“We’re gonna get you outta there. Just hang tight,” he called back.
Ha fucking ha. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. No Name Policeman. Let’s all give him a big round of applause.
Oh wait. I can’t.
Oddly, I didn’t feel as panicked as I probably would have if I hadn’t already experienced the worst fucking day ever and nothing felt broke, nor did I feel any pain coming from my abdomen, so I was good enough for now. If anything, I felt even safer now when I was a squirrel’s fart away from plummeting to my death than when I’d first woken up realizing I’d been kidnapped by one Bill fucking Compton.
At least I wouldn’t be dying on his terms.
I rolled my eyes at my own stubbornness and vowed I would work on that shit when it came to my interactions with Eric if I ever got out of this mess and hoped somebody would let him know that I was kind of okay at the moment so he wouldn’t panic.
At least he couldn’t see it.
I could hear the policemen talking about how long it would take fire and rescue to arrive at the scene and forty-five minutes sounded way too fucking long, but I didn’t think my bitching about it would make them get there any sooner. I guessed we were perched a little more precariously than I could see and from the sounds of it, they needed some big industrial sized forklift to steady the car before they could risk climbing down to get us out and that was the cause of the delay. As far as I was concerned, they could leave his demented ass right where it was and I’d happily give the front bumper a swift kick just as soon as my feet were on solid ground, but until then I could nothing more than wait.
And try not to breathe, blink, or fart.
Now that I was trying to believe that my death was no longer imminent, I must have started hallucinating because I would swear that I could hear Eric shouting my name, but that was probably just my subconscious warning me that he was going to give me a big what for when I got home, however I’d gladly take it and in the meantime I let my eyes glance around at the interior of the car with me noticing for the first time that we were in a BMW. I remembered one of their cars had been on that list of safest vehicles and seeing as how I wasn’t dead, I could hardly disagree, but I still saw no reason to replace the Black Pearl.
That wasn’t being stubborn; it was being practical.
I was drawn out of my odd inner car debate by the sound of another voice and drew my eyes up to see a young guy in what looked to be a Navy uniform.
Eric had looked better in his, my mind told me, so I then told my brain get the fuck out of the gutter already.
Now was not the time!
He pointed at the car and then farther down the road to where I couldn’t see, but the policeman nodded and got on his radio speaking rapidly into the mike. I couldn’t’ make out what they were saying, but my eyes closed having turned into two frightened bitches a few minutes later when I heard the sounds of a large truck approaching from behind. I’d thought they’d stopped the traffic going northbound because I hadn’t heard anything since I’d first spoken to the police officer, but it seemed I was wrong when I heard the same voice from earlier call out, “Mrs. Northman!” I forced my eyes open and looked over at him as he continued, “You’re going to hear a lot of loud noises coming from behind you, but it’s a forklift that we’re going to try and stabilize the car on so we can get you out, so don’t worry, okay?”
Oh sure…don’t worry…I’ll just have more inappropriate thoughts about my husband. Maybe in eyeliner and a pirate costume this time.
Actually, that worked wonders to keep my mind off of the loud mechanical sounds coming from behind me that demanded my head to turn around and watch, even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to see anything anyway, but a startled cry still left my lips when the forklift made contact with the bottom of the car and jostled it some more with my not-so-helpful eyes tracking a piece of broken concrete that fell from the added movement all the way into the rocky ravine below.
Those blue bitches were brutal.
After a few more minutes I could hear other sounds coming from behind me when a new voice accompanied them, saying, “Ma’am? My name is Kevin Prior and I’ll be getting you outta there in a jiffy. I’m coming up alongside you now so I don’t want to startle you.”
“Oh,” I softly laughed and now feeling a little more relieved, I added, “After the day I’ve had, I imagine it would take a little more to startle me than usual.”
When he finally made his way to the window I could see it was the same young Navy guy who had been talking to the police officers earlier and he smiled kindly at me, saying, “Well, I’m sure you’ve had better days, but I’ll make sure this one ends on a high note. How about that?”
“That would be great,” I smiled back at him and wondered when they started letting fourteen year olds into the military. He could’ve been easily blended in as one of the kids at the high school.
He was wearing a safety harness that was tied to a line trailing behind us and there was another harness thrown over his shoulder, but first he reached in with a large knife and cut away the airbag while asking, “Are you hurt?”
“I don’t think so,” I answered, but I was sure I’d be sore as hell in the morning. I’d be glad for it though because it would only serve as a reminder that I was still alive. He continued to check me over while I felt the unnecessary need to make small talk and asked the obvious, “So, you’re in the Navy?”
“Yes ma’am,” he answered while staring at the other side of the mangled door with a frown on his face.
While he contemplated whatever was making him look that way, I kept rambling on with, “So, uh…good job on that whole Bin Laden thing. You know, thanks for that.”
I was all for ‘an eye for an eye’ which was why fuck face’s balls still had an appointment with my rusty spoon, but my oddly timed gratitude made his frown turn into a smile as he looked at me and answered, “Well ma’am, we aim to please. That was the work of one of our SEAL teams, but I’m actually stationed out of Miramar.”
“Oh,” I said excitedly. “My husband and I were there a few months ago and we were supposed to go today, but…didn’t make it.”
Saying it out loud and feeling the weight of every fucked up thing that had happened that day, I suddenly burst into tears which made the poor guy look panicked and ask, “What is it? Are you in pain?”
“No,” I sobbed. “I’m just a pain in the ass. Just ask my husband.”
I felt so sorry for everything that had happened that day and the guilt of it was eating away at me while I tried to wipe my snotty face onto my shoulder since I still didn’t have the use of my arms, but he smiled back at me, saying, “I know. Not that you’re a pain in the ass, and I highly doubt that by the way, but that you all visited our base. Me and a couple of my buddies were there that day. You all were real nice and I even got a picture of me and your husband together. My girlfriend back home was mad at me for not getting his autograph for her.”
I didn’t recognize him from that day, but there had been a lot of people all dressed the same.
They call it camouflage for a reason.
“Well I’m sure he’d be more than happy to give you one now,” I offered. “Or call her personally, or name our baby after you even since you’re rescuing me and all.”
“That’s nice of you to say ma’am,” he smiled while reaching in and cutting the seatbelt free, adding, “but it’s not necessary. I’d be out here doing this if you were just any regular person too.”
I wanted to argue that I was a regular person, but I could see his point and stayed quiet as he tried to slip the extra harness over me, but since my hands were still tied behind my back he had to pull my body forward thanks to the way we were dangling facing up towards the sky and another startled cry left my lips when we felt the front of the car slip a little against the broken concrete railing it was dangling off of. He didn’t waste any time after that and quickly cut through what turned out to be a man’s tie from around my wrists, but my arms had long since fallen asleep and were completely useless to me at the moment, so he had to work my arms through the harness himself before securing it tightly around my body.
It too was tied to some sort of line that ran behind the car and once that was in place he took one more look at the outside of the passenger door and said, “I don’t think I can get this open without making the car destabilize even more, so I’m going to have to pull you through the window, okay?”
The frame was littered with bits of shattered glass, but I figured getting a few cuts was better than dropping down into the ravine and nodded my agreement, but he surprised me by maneuvering his blue camouflage uniform shirt off of his body, through his harness, and leaving him in just his t-shirt as he draped it over me using it as an added barrier between me and the glass. When he leaned into the open window to grab onto me the car shifted again, a lot more this time, and I screamed out in surprise, but I really screamed when I was halfway through the window and felt a hand wrap around my ankle as he was pulling me free and heard, “SOOKEH!”
Bill’s grip was surprisingly strong, but I hoped Kevin’s was stronger and I started crying all over again, screaming out, “Let me go!” but he refused.
I was being pulled at both ends and couldn’t even wrap my arms around my would-be rescuer because they were still limp from the loss of circulation, when Kevin tightened his hold on me and gritted out, “Why is he holding onto you?”
“Because he’s a crazy asshole that kidnapped me. He was trying to get me to Mexico where he was going to kill my baby,” I sobbed.
“Oh…well then,” was all he said and then he braced both of his feet onto the outside of the mangled passenger door and wrapped as much of his body around me as he could before he kicked off with all of his might. Bill’s grasp on my leg broke loose as we went flying through the air with nothing more than his arms around me and the lines tied to our harnesses keeping us suspended in the air, but the force of it had moved the car enough that it came free from the railing and we watched as it crashed into the rocks below us.
“I hope that wasn’t your car,” he said as we stared down at the wreckage and I couldn’t help laughing out loud in relief.
It was finally over.
We were slowly being pulled up to the road again and when I was finally calmed down enough, I said gratefully, “Thank you for that. I don’t know if you knew what would happen when you kicked us free, but I don’t think I would’ve been able to sleep at night if he was still alive.”
There was no missing the fact that Bill was dead. I could see the evidence of it beneath me and it was an admittedly morbid welcome one, but when I looked back up at Kevin he smiled and said noncommittally, “Well ma’am, I’m just a Seabee. I don’t know anything about physics or gravity or crazy assholes that take nice ladies wanting to do nasty things to them.”
He ended his speech with a wink and I wished I could hug him with my arms, but my eyes would have to do and I smiled back with, “Well sir, it seems it’s not just the SEALs who are heroes.”
We were finally at the edge of the northbound side of the highway across from where I’d been dangling and two more sets of arms pulled us over the railing, but my delirium made a spectacular comeback because I would swear I could see a frazzled looking Eric running towards me. He pushed his way through the Navy men and waiting EMT’s with his arms fastening around me before I could say anything and he cried into my neck, “Oh my god. I’m so sorry I yelled at you last night and acted like an asshole. It’s all my fault, but I love you so much and I thought I was going to lose you and the Bean and I’d never get to tell you again.”
I would like to say that I couldn’t believe he was actually there with me, but it was Eric. Of course he was there because he loved me and couldn’t be anywhere else, but I didn’t like hearing him be so upset with himself and since my arms weren’t quite working just yet, there was nothing I could do except try and talk him out of it. I’d had more than enough of the sad and scared emotions for the day and at that moment all I really wanted was just to see him smile again, so when he finally pulled back to look at me and started fretting over god knows what kind of damage had been done to my face, I stared up at him with a questioning look, asking, “Who are you?”
His eyes bugged out as he asked, “Did you hit your head? Oh my god! You don’t remember me?”
I only let him freak out for a few seconds before I started giggling and admitted, “Well I don’t know if I hit my head, but how on earth could I forget you? The Great Eric Northman: boy of my teenage fantasies; man of my womanly dreams; spermatozoa of my ovum.”
He stared back at me like he didn’t know if he wanted to strangle me or kiss me and it kind of reminded me of the early days of our marriage only making me grin back at him even wider, so when he just sighed with relief and wrapped his arms around me again, muttering into my hair, “You’re lucky I love you because you can really be a bitch sometimes,” I could hear the smile in his voice and laughed into his chest again, agreeing with his point by saying, “Oh please…you love me because I’m a bitch.”
What more could I say? I was a bitch…Eric’s bitch and I always would be.