I almost kissed him.
I almost kissed Eric Northman.
How many times in my youth had I imagined that very thing? Many more times than I’d ever admit to, but never once in those countless scenarios had it been on the day after our Vegas wedding that neither one of us could remember.
My willpower around him crumbled faster than a house of cards in a hurricane and given the fact that I’d actually married him after only having a few drinks, I knew I’d have to find some way to resist giving into my urges again. But he smelled so good; the feeling of the strength of his arms; the warmth of his body; the trail of goose bumps he left behind along my skin from both his breath and fingertips was overwhelming, easily drowning out the alarm bells going off in my mind to put a halt to it all.
Maybe I could order a chastity belt from the internet?
From the lustful look in his eyes I doubted even that would keep him at bay for long. Thank God Pam interrupted the inevitable by speaking up.
Maybe Pam could move in?
I would just have to keep telling myself that this whole thing was an act. Not that I didn’t believe Eric wanted to have sex with me, even I could see that, but I would not be just another conquest in a line of women he’d bedded. God only knew how long that line would be and I’d only ever given myself to one man and only after I thought we were in love.
Or, at least that was true until the night before, but since neither one of us could remember it, it didn’t really count. Did it?
Alright, it counted, but at least I’d waited until we were married. Hopefully. Justification much?
In any case, Eric and I were definitely not in love. In like, maybe, but not in love. Other than the fact he was raised by an asshole father, I barely knew him and my mind was still partly in a tailspin from the events of the day. It was difficult to distinguish if what I was feeling towards him now was because of what he’d shown me or because of how I’d fantasized him to be for so many years.
Where were Confucius’ wise words when you needed them? Maybe Eric had an old fortune cookie lying around somewhere because I was definitely lacking any wisdom at the moment.
She who sits down with Jose Cuervo, lies down with Eric Northman.
Yeah, that would have been the fortune cookie I should have read the night before.
I leapt off of his lap thinking the lack of physical contact between us would help lessen my desire for him, but it backfired because all it did was enable me to see his whole body; and what a nice body it was.
Maybe I could find a chastity belt at one of those Renaissance Fairs.
I wondered if he knew the effect his skin on mine had when he stood up grabbing my hand, but I just couldn’t bring myself to pull free from his grasp and allowed him to drag me into the next room. The butterflies in my stomach increased, knowing we’d be all alone, from both worrisome anxiety and hopeful anticipation when Pam resumed her sitting position in the chair. I tried to ignore it and take in my surroundings instead, but all I could really focus on was the size of the room and its contents. Everything was huge with that one room probably being the size of the entire first floor of the farmhouse where I’d grown up. The flat screen TV was bigger than my whole body and all I could say was, “Um…wow, this is pretty big.”
Eloquent, I know.
It made me remember the sight of him naked in the bed that morning and my mouth operated without the consent of my brain, muttering my thoughts out loud. “I guess everything about you is big.”
Of course I didn’t realize my brain mouth filter had decided to shit the bed until Eric asked me what I’d said. I felt my body flush in embarrassment and tried to come up with a believable lie with my eyes darting around the room looking for ideas. When they landed on one of the numerous posters decorating the walls I saw that it wasn’t like the others I had glanced at when we’d walked in. Those had been of movies Eric had acted in, but this one was for a porn movie with a barely clad brunette practically screaming, ‘Cum one, cum all. Cum inside of me because I’m a disease-ridden whore.’
My 20/20 vision zeroed in on the scrawl at the bottom of the poster reading, ‘To Eric Northman, the man with the best tongue in the business. I hope you and your award winning cock take me up on my offer of co-starring in one of my films.’
I didn’t bother to read what her name was having already dubbed her Bambi Big-Hole, the Grand Canyon of Cunts.
How could I have been so stupid to want to kiss him? I would be just like her, another notch in his bedpost, if I gave in and slept with him.
I ripped my hand from his and stomped into the next room, afraid if I looked around any longer in that one I’d be confronted with more reminders of his man whore days. That room was smaller than the last and given I could see the kitchen from where I stood, it was obviously the dining room. Only the table was for playing pool instead of having a meal on, reminding me of the fraternity in ‘Animal House.’
His father and I were both wrong; he wasn’t 26 or 29; he was 16.
The fact that I’d actually married someone like him and had to stay married to him for a whole year just fueled my anger and seeing the poker table in the kitchen, instead of a dinette, made me lose it completely. Eric turned right back into the asshole I’d met that morning and when he’d all but kicked me out of his house, I couldn’t agree fast enough. Fuck my new job. I’d rather wait tables for the rest of my life than have to put up with one more minute of his bullshit.
My rage precipitated my ungracious greeting when my phone rang and I felt my stomach completely drop when I heard the voice on the other end of the line.
I hated that my eyes automatically went to Eric’s seeking comfort. After the blow up we’d just had, I was unlikely to find any there.
“Is that how I taught you to properly answer the telephone young lady?”
Gran’s hearing had started deteriorating with her age and I hoped my screeching into the phone wasn’t as loud to her as it was to me, but I could picture the stern look I was sure she was wearing from my tone alone when I meekly responded, “No ma’am.”
“What’s wrong sweetheart? Are the reporters bugging you to death too?”
How could I tell her that my anger was over my dipshitness from marrying a man slut the night before? When I didn’t answer right away she continued talking.
“They’ve been bothering me too, but I’ve just been ignoring the doorbell after seeing your brother on the news this morning. Why sometimes I think he’s got no sense whatsoever in that brain of his.”
I’ve been trying to tell you that for years…
“Now I won’t say I’m not just a little upset that you got married without me being there, not to mention the fact that you never even mentioned you were seeing him, but I’m sure you had your reasons and I’m very happy for the both of you.”
Huh? I’d expected to be able to feel the paddle’s sting across my ass from here with her swinging it back home in Louisiana, so my shocked response was, “You’re not mad?”
“Of course not dear. Your crush on your new husband was no secret when you were growing up so how could you not fall head over heels in love with him?”
She sounded so happy for me it broke my heart having to tell her the truth. “About that Gran…”
She interrupted me saying, “And you’re not one to make rash decisions, like your brother, so I’m sure you thought long and hard before agreeing to marry him after just a couple of weeks. Your instincts have always served you well.”
Quinn and Jose Cuervo might think differently, but her words made me ask, “How did you know we’d only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks?”
My eyes fell to Pam who had joined us in the kitchen by then and she smiled before turning to walk back into the Den of Iniquity. Eric and I followed behind her and I gasped when she turned on the news as Gran was filling me in at the same time.
“Oh darling, it’s all over the news. I guess you two released a statement to the press saying that while you’ve been friends for a year now, you’ve only recently started seeing each other exclusively in the last two weeks. I explained to Maxine when she called that while it seems a bit fast, you’re a grown woman that’s never been led astray before so I’m sure this is no different. Besides, isn’t that always the way it happens in the movies? You don’t realize the person you’ve been friends with is actually the one you’re meant to be with and with him being a movie star it just seems so fitting!”
Fucking Pam! We’d only agreed to that bullshit story a couple of hours earlier. How in the hell did she get it on the news so fast? And Maxine Fortenberry’s mouth was bigger than Bambi Big-Hole’s twat so I was sure the news was already spread all over town with her own embellishments added in.
My traitorous eyes locked back onto Eric as I asked, “So you don’t think two weeks is too soon?” How in the world was she buying that cock and bull story?
“I told you Sookie, I trust your judgment. I know you would never disappoint me that way. And it’s just so exciting! My phone lines have been burning up with everyone in town calling about the news. Why I feel like a celebrity in my own right!” she giggled.
Did she have to throw in the ‘disappointment’ card? Up until now, I’d never had to worry about disappointing Gran, nor did I ever think I could. But now…fuck.
“Now, when are you two coming for a visit so I can meet this young man in person? I hope he’s not like your last beau who couldn’t find the time to come and meet your family. I know you’ll be busy with your new job and I’m sure Eric has commitments as well, but I was thinking you two could come visit for Thanksgiving?”
I felt my eyes go wide like a deer caught in the headlights. Eric had just basically told me to get out of his house and I was all for the idea, but I’d never heard Gran so happy in my entire life. She giggled for Christ’s sake. Gran was not a giggler.
There was no way I’d be willing to keep up this farce to keep a job, but I’d swallow my pride and tough it out for Gran’s sake. The humiliation I’d be sparing her from alone with the town gossip that would be sure to follow her every footstep outside of the house was worth it. The question was, would I be able to convince Eric to reconsider?
I tried to gauge his reaction by looking him in the eye as I repeated back to Gran, “You want us to visit for Thanksgiving?”
He didn’t scoff, so that was a good sign. In fact, if I were to guess, I’d say he looked relieved, but surly that couldn’t be the case. Did he like a big turkey dinner that much?
“Yes! Do you think you both could make it? Your Gran is an old bird now and I don’t think I’d be up to making the long trip out to see you both, but if you think you can’t come I’d certainly be willing to give it a go and come out there.”
Gran’s arthritis had been getting progressively worse over the years and I knew having to sit on an airplane for that long would be a painful experience for her, so I would never want or ask her to go through that.
I didn’t know if Eric would be willing to come along though, or if we’d even still be living this lie by Thanksgiving so I just swallowed a big dose of my pride and gave him a beseeching look as I said, “Well, I’d be more than willing to come home for Thanksgiving, but I don’t know what Eric has going on then.” While it was a statement, my tone ended in more of a question as I stared back at him now that the ball was in his court.
“Well then put him on the phone and I’ll find out for myself. I want to at least say that I’ve spoken to my granddaughter’s new husband even if I haven’t met him yet.”
Gah! “Oh Gran, um…Eric’s busy right now. I don’t think he’s got time to talk to you just yet. Maybe…”
That was all I could say because Eric chose that moment to snatch my phone from my unsuspecting grip and put it to his ear saying, “We’d love to come.”