Chapter 23



I don’t think God could have been any clearer with his sign, nor clearing the lust from my head, than by having Amelia screeching my name. As much as I didn’t want to leave his arms, or any other part of him, I pushed myself away and climbed out of the pool trying to decided if I should hug Amelia or punch her square in the face.

“What the fuck Sook?”

Punching her was in the lead at the moment when I replied, “What the fuck Ames?”

“Oh gee, I don’t know. Maybe I just thought my best friend would think to call me at some point after running off with the guy whose balls you wanted to rip off yesterday morning. The Senior Citizens Center called looking for you since you didn’t show up this afternoon and I got worried and tried your cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail. For all I knew fucktard was busy burying your body!”

“Shit!” I couldn’t believe I flaked out twice in the same day, but Eric had a way of consuming my every thought lately. “I forgot,” and added, “and Eric’s not a fucktard!” He was definitely growing on me and hearing Amelia calling him names got my hackles raised. I could see she was still fuming, but when her eyes glanced behind me, her jaw fell open and I turned in time to see Eric had just gotten out of the pool. I had wrapped myself in the towel I’d brought out with me and he had apparently forgotten to grab one so he simply stood there and shook the water from his hair. The water droplets flew out in every direction and his kryptonite chest and abs rippled with the movement like he’d walked straight out of a fucking magazine ad for stupid high end cologne, but they should really use it for panty liners because I was in dire need of secondary containment measures down below, all from just looking at him. They’d make a mint.

Dear God, your signs are confusing the shit out of me. Amen.

“Wow,” Amelia whispered.

“Uh huh,” I agreed.

“No wonder you haven’t called.”

“No shit.”

“He ripples.”

“I know.”

“Can I move in too?”


“Have you taken him for another test drive yet?”


“Can I?”

“Fuck no.”

“Some best friend you are. Oh fuck!” she gasped. “I interrupted something didn’t I?”

“Not sure. Maybe…but it’s probably for the best.”

Eric walked over and grinned at me before shooting daggers at Amelia asking, “How the hell did you get through the gate?”

“Eric!” I chided. “Don’t be an ass. Amelia’s my best friend!” He had a point though, so I turned to her and asked, “How did you get through the gate?”

Amelia was getting lost in Eric’s chest now that it was so close. I couldn’t really blame her since the same thing kept happening to me, so I took my towel and threw it over the front of him, like a barber’s cape, and it seemed to do the trick.

“Umm…when you didn’t answer your cell I jumped in my car and came here. Alcide had left me the address so I could forward your mail and after I threatened the gate guard with a homemade vasectomy, he tried the house but didn’t get an answer so he called Pam and she said it was okay.”

I looked up at Eric to see if that was a good enough explanation for him, but I wasn’t sure he even heard her since his eyes were glued to my body. Remembering the bruises I had and not wanting to go there with Amelia, I ran over and grabbed my sarong, wrapping it around my waist and headed into the house.

“I’m just going to go change,” I told Eric and grabbed Amelia’s hand, dragging her up to my room with me.

“So you two seem to be getting along better,” she said after plopping down on my bed while I grabbed the clothes I’d worn earlier and stepped into the bathroom.

I left the door open while I changed, telling her all that had happened from meeting his father and Mrs. Dash to the blow out with Pam over the rings and everything in between. She stayed silent through it all, a rarity for Amelia, and once I was done she asked, “So how do you feel about it all? Do you still want to go through with it?”

“I have to for Gran’s sake. You’ve been to Bon Temps. Can you imagine the shame she would feel facing those people if the truth came out? Besides, she sounded so happy for me. I don’t want to disappoint her.”

She thought about it for a second and replied, “I suppose you’re right, but what about Eric? I know you two were at each other’s throats yesterday morning, but how about now? I mean, you two ran off and got married after a couple of hours for Christ’s sake, so there’s no denying you’ve got chemistry. Do you think there could be more?”

Could there be? “I don’t know,” I told her honestly. “He has his twat-tard moments, but he can be funny and sweet too. God knows he’s sexy as all get out, but what if he’s just being nice to get me to sleep with him? I doubt he’s looking for a serious relationship and I’m not just gonna fall into bed with him because he’s hot.”

Amelia eyed me saying, “Sook, I’ve seen your fan girl shrine to Eric Northman on your bedroom walls. And judging from what I saw down in the pool, the attraction is still mutual when you’re both sober, so why not keep an open mind about it? Neither one of you can go looking for anyone else for the next year anyway, so quit over analyzing everything and just live in the moment. If it happens, it happens. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But that’s just it! Do you really think he could ever be faithful? You saw how pissed he got when I demanded it from him in order to even agree to go along with this. What if I sleep with him and then he gets bored and goes off fucking some starlet? Not only would I be humiliated, but more than my pride would be hurt if I let him get that close to me.”

Her eyes softened when she said, “Don’t let Quinn take away your ability to trust someone. That fucker already took your virginity, but you can’t let what he did dictate how you live your life. Not everyone is a cheating bastard and if you hold back a part of yourself from everyone else, worried you might get hurt again, that’s just one more piece of you he gets to hold onto.”

I threw my wet hair up into a messy bun and slumped down next to her saying, “But he’s Eric Northman, fuck buddy of porn stars. Do you really think he’s the one I should be testing your ‘trust someone’ theory out on?”

Amelia wrapped her arm around me and kissed my cheek saying, “But you’re Mrs. Eric Northman, at least for the next year, and with the amount of attention you two are getting you’ll know if he’s dicking around. And I’ll be here to help you give him that homemade vasectomy if he does.”

I giggled when she waggled her eyebrows at me and admitted, “I don’t know, we might get distracted from our work when you see what he’s got going on down there.”

She pulled back demanding, “Spill!”

I held out my hands in the approximate measurements and her eyes bugged out with her saying, “Whoa.”

“I know,” I agreed. “And he wasn’t even aroused at the time.”

“What the fuck are you waiting for?” She stood and pulled me up alongside her saying, “You’ve got your own personal fuck toy down there wanting to do the mambo number five in between the sheets and you’re sitting here talking nonsense to me?”

She pulled the door open, walking out with me whispering behind her, “I’m not fucking him!” Yet, I silently added.

“Yet,” she added not so silently.

We walked back into the kitchen to get a drink with Amelia noticing the poker table and she looked back at me with her eyebrow cocked.

“I know,” I shook my head in agreement over the retardedness in his choice of décor.

Eric walked in a moment later, thankfully dressed, and Amelia turned to him saying, “I love what you’ve done with the place. Very frat boy chic.”

He gave her a dazzling smile and we both gulped, immediately disarmed by it, before he replied, “Thanks. Care for a tour? Have you seen the outside of the front door? I’d love to show it to you.”

“Eric!” It was hard to be pissed when he was flashing so many pearly whites, but I was trying damn it.

Amelia smiled back saying, “Thanks, but I’ve already seen it. You should really think about locking it you know. Anyone could walk in.”

“No shit,” he muttered. I watched him walk over and open the refrigerator, staring at the contents, before saying to no one in particular, “There’s nothing to eat.”

We’d just bought three hundred dollars in groceries since I had to set up the kitchen basically from scratch and I walked over to see for myself just in case someone else had walked in and emptied the contents while we were out of the room. It was just as full as I’d left it and realized we were establishing a pattern of stating the obvious when I said, “It’s full of food.”

“No, it’s full of ingredients.


“You’re not full from the sandwiches I made?” I asked, realizing as I looked around that they were gone.

“Alcide took them all.”

He looked so sad that I took pity on him and took everything out to make him one saying, “I’ll make you one, but that’s it. I don’t want you to spoil your dinner.”

The smile I was rewarded with made me drop the bag of rolls in my hand and I was rewarded again when Eric bent over to pick them up. I’d have to drop things around him more often.

I guess Amelia didn’t miss where my eyes, or thoughts, had gone to because she cleared her throat to get my attention and smiled saying, “Well, I’ll leave you two to your domestic bliss. Call me and let me know how the first day on the job goes Sook.”

“You don’t have to leave Ames,” I said as Eric muttered, “About fucking time.”

I swatted him and followed her to the front door, hugging her goodbye and she whispered in my ear, “If he’s as big as you said he is, you might want to get some lube.”

“AMELIA!” I shouted, blushing at the thought. I just about fell on the floor when I realized Eric was standing right behind me and refused to look at him not knowing if he’d heard her. We said our goodbyes and I darted back into the kitchen to avoid looking at Eric, but not before I heard him locking the front door. I couldn’t make his sandwich fast enough hoping to keep his mouth occupied with eating so he wouldn’t talk about anything he might have overheard and shoved the plate at him when I was done.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” he asked.

I shook my head no and started making the pie crust for the apple pie saying, “Dinner will be ready in a couple of hours. I’ll eat then.”

His moan made me look up at him and his eyes were closed as he chewed before he swallowed and said, “That’s the best sandwich I’ve ever tasted.”

I blushed again from his compliment and muttered, “Thanks,” before going back to making the pie crust.

He was quiet after that, except for the occasional moans which were wreaking havoc on my girly bits, and I made a mental note to pick up a pack of those panty liners. Or a case.

I continued making the pie, peeling, slicing, and coating the apples in the cinnamon sugar mixture and stealing occasional glances at Eric. He remained sitting on the kitchen bar stool silently watching me work, after finishing his sandwich, with rapt attention. Being under his constant scrutiny was making me self conscious and as I finished placing the crumb topping on the pie I finally had to ask, “What are you staring at?”

He shrugged his shoulders saying, “I’ve just never watched someone make a pie from scratch. I order dessert and it’s brought to me. I never really thought about how it came to be a pie.”

I chuckled saying, “It comes from ingredients. What did you think, there are pie fairies out there just poofing them into existence?”

He smiled saying, “You’re the one with the mad fairytale skills charming woodland creatures left and right. You tell me.”

I slid the pie into the oven admitting, “You got me. I’m really a fairy, but don’t tell anyone. I’m trying to keep it on the down low.”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

I knew Eric was no Prince Charming, but it was hard to remember what an ass he could be when he acted so sweet and normal. His enchanting smiles were weakening what little resolve I had left so I concentrated on preparing the fried chicken instead of how his eyes crinkled in amusement whenever I would blush seeing him staring at me.

I made enough to feed an army and had a difficult time fitting it all on the breakfast bar, but it was all worth it once I took my first bite. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was, or that I was making the same noises of appreciation as Eric, but I couldn’t help laughing when it finally dawned on me.

“What’s so funny?” he asked in between bites.

I took a sip of sweet tea before replying, “If anyone were to walk in now and heard us, they’d think we were doing something other than eating.”

I almost choked on my final bite seeing his eyes darken with lust and his voice dropped an octave saying, “I’m game if you are. I’d hate to disappoint them.”

“But the door is locked. No one’s going to walk in.” Way to go dumbass. Not ‘I’m not having sex with you!’, but ‘The door is locked.’ It’s not my fault though. He made my brain fart when he licked his lips. LICKED HIS LIPS!

Eric apparently liked to take advantage of a dumbass when he saw one because he smiled asking, “Shall I unlock the door?”

Why was it so hot in here? I glanced at the oven to make sure I’d turned it off after taking the pie out, but I had so that wasn’t it. We’d both pretty much cleaned our plates, so I stalled answering him and got up clearing them off the counter, before slicing the pie and setting a piece down in front of Eric. I didn’t trust him, or myself, by sitting down next to him again so I stood on the opposite side of the breakfast bar not eating the slice of pie in front of me with Amelia’s words running through my head.

He wasn’t eating his either, waiting on my answer I supposed, so I gave it to him.

“Our wedding night notwithstanding, I’m not one to just sleep around. Being with someone like that has to mean something to me and we barely know each other.”

“But you’re attracted to me and I’m attracted to you,” he said, again stating the obvious.

“And I thought the guy that delivered the cases of Snapple at the diner where I worked was attractive, but I wouldn’t have sex with him.” I noticed his expression flicker at my admission, but it was so brief I couldn’t pinpoint the emotion behind it so I continued. “Any woman and probably a lot of men would find you attractive Eric, you’re practically a walking talking Adonis, but I need an emotional tie too and I doubt you’re looking to get involved in a relationship. I would need to be in one for that to happen.”

There. I said it. Shields UP Mr. Spock, maximum power! Scotty! We need more power to the shields!


6 comments on “Chapter 23

  1. kleannhouse says:

    OMG Amelia was the cockblock this time but it got both parties to think about what they were missing out on. too funny KY

  2. My Universe says:


    Goodness I do LOVE your humor. 🙂

  3. lilydragonsblood says:

    so funny when amelia turned up…..mmm, what’s eric going to think about sookie’s statement?….can he ‘do’ relationships?….. x

  4. lilydragonsblood says:

    Loved the “LICKED HIS LIPS!” in capitals, ha ha! x

  5. lilydragonsblood says:


  6. lilydragonsblood says:

    ‘LICKED HIS LIPS’…..comedy genius.

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