Like the past week hadn’t been bad enough with me running myself ragged so I wouldn’t have time to think about Eric’s eventual departure, now I had to deal with my douche bag ex?
I felt Eric go rigid next to me and a soft growl left his chest, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Quinn wondering what in the hell it was I ever saw in him. He was smarmy and icky; a cross between Mr. Clean and a lounge lizard in his shiny suit, and all I could think of was how thankful I was that it wasn’t his hand that was holding mine. I’d felt so hurt and betrayed by him way back when that I honestly thought I’d never trust anyone again, but now I had Eric, whom I would trust my life with, and couldn’t even muster up any feelings seeing Quinn other than disgust.
While I knew it was rude, I also knew Gran wouldn’t hold it against me considering who was standing before me and didn’t bother to acknowledge his greeting with anything more than a cold stare.
After all, he couldn’t really throw stones since he’d been rude enough to throw his dick into anything that crossed his path while we’d been together.
Unless Eric stole them away from him.
NOT going there pregnant brain!
“What do you want?” Eric barked out without even pretending to be civil, but I didn’t care.
It was after hours so he shouldn’t have to act if he didn’t want to.
Quinn flinched ever so slightly and his eyes shot to Eric, but I couldn’t remember whether or not I’d told him about what happened the last time they’d crossed paths. I didn’t think it would look good for Eric to start throwing punches at a holiday party, so I pulled the hand I’d been holding around my back and settled his palm on the Bean hoping it would calm him down, but if anything, he seemed to get more territorial by pulling me flush against his side and repeating, “What. Do. You. Want?”
I saw it the moment Quinn’s testosterone levels kicked up a notch and he squared his shoulders, answering, “I just thought I’d catch up with an old flame. After all, Sookie and I spent years together. Most of the time, in bed.” He looked over at me smiling cockily, asking, “Isn’t that right babe?”
Do NOT call me BABE!
Eric was literally vibrating next to me, but I barely noticed because I was suddenly afflicted with tunnel vision. All I could picture was all of those shitty looks I used to get from the people at the gym who obviously thought I’d been an idiot for not realizing Quinn had been cheating on me the entire time we were together; remember the hurt and humiliation I would feel with every offhanded remark he’d make about my weight; regretting all of those years I’d let him have that power over me, but no more. He’d already proven he could hurt Sookie Stackhouse.
But I was Sookie Northman.
I wrenched myself free from Eric’s grasp and stalked forward towards Quinn, forcing my face into a coy smile as I reached out placing my hand on his chest. I had no doubt that it probably looked like an intimate caress, especially hearing Eric’s angry and shocked, “Sookie?” behind me, but I didn’t touch Quinn for the sake of having an intimate connection.
I did it to keep my balance with an entirely different kind of connection in mind.
Quinn’s triumphant look back at Eric was timed perfectly with my knee flying up to connect with his balls and he doubled over before slowly falling to the floor, but I bent right over him and did a poor job of trying to keep my voice down, despite the spectacle of me having just kicked the cocksucker, and agreed, “Yes, we did spend a lot of time in bed together you crass ass, but that was only because I’m an optimist at heart. I kept hoping you’d get your shit together and realize foreplay doesn’t mean you should only play for four seconds. I kept hoping you might one day last longer than a game of tic-tac-toe between two Rhodes Scholars. It was all I could do because I certainly knew better than to hope that thing you call a dick would ever find my G-spot; there’s no way that thing could reach it. Still, you’d think with all of your extracurricular activities you would’ve picked up a trick or two, but I guess all you’re really good at is picking up tricks.”
I wasn’t sure Quinn could even hear me over his own groaning, but I sure as hell felt a lot better and when I felt Eric’s hands on my hips as he came to stand behind me, I stood up finding comfort in his touch. Pressing my back against him, my husband,I couldn’t help adding, “But even with all of my optimism I could have never imagined having a lover like my husband. It takes all of my willpower just to let him out of our bed. Not only can he reach my G-spot; he’s found so many spots the whole fucking alphabet isn’t long enough. He’s got so many tricks up his sleeve his name should be David fucking Copperfield, but not only do I get the benefit of his colossal sized cock for the rest of my life, I get to do it with a man I actually love. Eric owns me; heart, body and soul. You were nothing more than a reason why I needed to replace my vibrator every few months.”
I genuinely smiled watching Quinn wince as he slowly stood up and he glared back at me, spitting out, “You’re a fool if you think you’re the only one he’s fucking, especially since it looks like you’re packing the pounds on again.”
I nearly toppled over when Eric tried to rush towards Quinn from behind me, but I dug my heels in and pulled his hands tighter around my waist to keep him there when he finally gave up and just shouted, “Fuck you!” over my head.
A little over a year ago I would’ve shrunken into myself bemoaning my poor self-image and feeling like I wasn’t good enough for anyone to love, but now I knew better. Now I had Eric and if I’d learned anything from him, it was this:
I was beautiful.
I was perfect.
I was his and he was most certainly mine.
Eric was still snarling behind me, but I merely took his hands and framed the Bean with them. They were in that position so often he didn’t seem to even notice until I turned my body to the side and looked back at Quinn, saying, “That’s due to another benefit of having Eric as a lover. All of that fucking means all of that cum has to go somewhere.” Quinn’s shocked face seeing my now distinguishable baby bump was priceless, but I was done with him in every sense of the word and peeked up at Eric’s face instead. He was the one that looked triumphant now and I fell in love with him just a little bit more seeing just how much he thought I was a prize, so when he finally looked down at me, I winked and added, “A girl can only swallow so much.”
Eric seemed to have dismissed Quinn’s presence too because his head fell back as he barked with laughter and then smiled back at me wickedly before leaning down to whisper into my ear, “You know how amazed I get seeing just how much you can swallow.” I shivered when he nipped at the skin just below my ear and shook it off knowing we couldn’t get frisky here.
In the middle of the ballroom.
In the middle of Eric’s WORK FUNCTION.
That tunnel vision was a bitch because now that it had abated, I could actually take in our surroundings and this time I did shrink back into myself and Eric’s embrace seeing we had quite an audience around us, Alcide, Holly, and Pam included. Seeing Pam made me wonder if her mere presence had activated my Sookie sensor indicating it was systems go for the blue bombs to drop and my blush swept over me so rapidly it could’ve been called a hot flash. I was sure even the skin in between my toes were sweating and I managed to squeak out into Eric’s chest a soft, “Sorry.”
You know, because my apology should be WHISPERED, but practically shouting about Eric’s colossal sized cock and swallowing floods of his baby making cum for the entire room to hear was perfectly fine.
Eric just chuckled saying, “You have nothing to apologize for,” but his words were quickly drowned out by a small round of applause and I peeked out seeing Pam, Alcide, and Holly among those clapping while Quinn gingerly stormed off.
I burrowed myself into Eric’s body wishing I could just climb inside of him to hide in embarrassment, but still managed to hear when the writer he’d been speaking to before my clusterfuck cock and cum Christmas party confession, said, “Too bad we’re not on cable. I could’ve used a few of those lines.”
Just. Kill. Me. Now.
If I could have, I would have run from the room, but since we’d just gotten there I knew we needed to stick around for a while and I refused to make eye contact with anything other than my still sweaty toes as Eric led us to a table to sit down. I felt it when he placed a soft kiss on my red hot cheek as he said, “I’ll go get you something to drink and be right back.”
Since I hadn’t been looking up, I didn’t realize Pam had followed along with us until I heard her yell to Eric’s retreating back, “I don’t think that’s necessary. She just said she’s full from swallowing your…”
“PAM!” I yelled interrupting her and somehow managed to become even redder.
“Oh Sookie,” she chuckled, taking the seat next to me. “I just love it when you lose your mind on people. It’s always so entertaining. You should do it more often.”
I had no doubts Pam would’ve been entertained, but I was concerned about what my dick disclosure might do to Eric’s career and asked worriedly, “Did I just fuck up things for Eric?” The irony wasn’t lost on me that Pam’s initial reason behind Eric and I staying married had been so he would look stable.
Too bad for him he’d married a crazy bitch.
“Are you kidding?” she smiled. My eyes followed her gaze as she turned and pointed out Eric standing up at the bar. He was surrounded by some of the show’s bigwigs, but before I could freak out, I saw they were all laughing and smiling. One of them even clapped Eric on the back and I sank back into my chair with a relieved sigh. Pam turned back to me, saying, “This is Hollywood Sookie. We all love a good show.”
“Yeah, well…I never wanted to be a star and tonight certainly hasn’t changed my mind.” Now that I was calmer, I wondered out loud, “What in the hell is Quinn doing here anyway?”
The last time I’d seen him he was chasing down the engagement ring I threw across the gym floor, but Pam seemed to know when she didn’t hesitate, answering, “He came in with one of the extras on the show. Dye job brassy blond; fake tits; fifteen minutes of fame in her lifetime.”
Huh…I guess if she knew all of THAT Pam must have her own superpowers.
“You know,” Pam interrupted my thoughts, “now that you’ve outed yourself in a room full of fame whores, the news is going to get out about Baby Pam.”
Fuck…I guess that’s what I got for letting my mouth bypass my brain filter, but there was nothing to be done for it now except put wishes under pillows that a rainbow would shoot out of my ass and said, “Maybe no one will say anything.”
It could work…after all I WAS Mrs. Eric Northman just like my teenage-self had wished.
It came out sounding more like a question than a statement and probably even sounded Swahili given Pam’s confused look back at me right before she burst into laughter.
I guess that was my answer.
The rest of the night passed without incident and either Quinn had left or he’d gone into hiding because we didn’t run into him again, but when we got home that night Eric was sure to show me just how much he’d liked my impromptu ‘Ode to my husband’s celebrated cock’ earlier that evening.
And Eric gave us both a reason to celebrate for the rest of the night.
The following week was part perfect/part nightmare. Perfect because my kids in the Drama Club had worked their asses off and thanks to Eric’s help, their debut performance in front of an actual audience went off without a hitch. They’d definitely gelled better than they had when it was just me helping them and I got quite a few compliments on how great their performance was. I was proud of them and even Eric was beaming at my side, but I was worried too knowing there was a spring performance we’d have to do. Now we had high expectations to live up to, but Eric wouldn’t be able to help me the next time since he’d be away filming the movie.
I didn’t feel as bad about it all now that I’d been able to wrap my head around the idea. It really was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him and he’d spent his lifetime working to get it. I was even looking forward to my first trip abroad to see him and had already sent the paperwork in to get my passport done, but the running around I’d had to do for everything was the nightmare part of my week.
Pam was right. By the morning after the holiday party, it was on the news that there were rumors circulating I was pregnant and conjecture that it was the only reason why we’d gotten married to begin with. I couldn’t even muster up any outrage over it since that seemed like a much nobler reason to get married than one too many tequila shots, but the level of crazy that ensued was a bit much. The paparazzi were back in full force following us everywhere, so after talking it over with Eric and Pam, we decided to just go ahead and confirm the pregnancy hoping it would make them dial it back a notch.
I had a better chance of having that rainbow shoot out of my ass.
I just didn’t get it. I knew Eric was a celebrity and all; he was sexy as all get out five mother fucking times, but with the way the press was acting you’d think I’d be pushing Jesus Christ himself out of my crotch in another six months and even though neither one of us could remember our wedding night, we both knew better.
It wasn’t an immaculate conception.
By the following week the paparazzi had gotten braver. At first they would only follow me as far as the school grounds before veering off, but I assumed they eventually felt it was safe enough for them to actually stop and get out of their cars seeing that I was able to get to and from the school without being accosted. It was on the Monday morning of the last week of school before the holiday break would start when they all converged on me in the school parking lot and formed such a tight circle, I couldn’t get through them. I was blinded by flashbulbs and questions, but ignoring them wasn’t doing me any good. The school didn’t have the resources to hire extra security guards to keep them out of the open school grounds and I was sure the police force in Compton had better things to do than make sure I wasn’t having a million pictures taken of me every morning. I felt like I was about to either scream or cry when I heard her.
“Just back the fuck up!”
I don’t know if they heard her, but Tara made herself known a second later and when I could finally see her, I saw she’d also brought reinforcements with her. Teaching an AP English course meant that my class had only the elite students, grades wise, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t noticed any of the other students when passing through the hallways. Some of them were downright scary looking and I’m more than a little ashamed to say that if I were passing by them out on the street, I’d move to the other side. Gangs were a problem in most inner cities and Compton was no different, but it would seem that Tara had made friends with them because some of the biggest and scariest of the bunch forced their way through the crowd of cameramen with her leading the charge. I didn’t have time to wonder why when they all formed their own tight circle around me and led me into the school.
“Thank you,” I sputtered out to them all, along with a few tears I couldn’t hold back, as soon as we were inside.
I almost laughed seeing a few of the bigger guys looking uncomfortable, at either my thanks or my tears, but Tara spoke up again, saying conspiratorially, “No tears. You can’t show’em any weakness or they’ll eat you alive.”
My eyes shot to her face and saw that she was kidding, but I didn’t care if it made me look weak and hugged the lot of them in gratitude. Some of them chuckled while some of them blushed and while I knew I’d stick out like a sore thumb walking down any one of the streets in that neighborhood, inside that school at least, I felt like I was one of them.
I knew better than to say anything to Eric about it knowing he’d lose his ever-loving mind and put another rainbow-shooting-out-of-my-ass wish under my pillow that he wouldn’t find out. It seemed to be working for the time being when I hadn’t gotten any angry messages from him during the day and the same group of kids were waiting for me that afternoon to escort me back to my car with them forming a human blockade at the curb so the paparazzi couldn’t follow my car out onto the street. The situation repeated itself every morning and afternoon after that and I didn’t think twice when I doled out a fist full of hundred dollar gift cards to them in thanks on the last day of school before Christmas. I already knew I didn’t have to buy their loyalty, but they didn’t have to act as my bodyguards either and they were actually surprised that I’d bothered to thank them at all. It made me sad for them and while I knew there wasn’t much I could do in the way of helping them in some other way, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try and come up with something, but my thoughts were distracted on the drive home with my excitement building with each mile I got closer to the house knowing Gran and Jason would be arriving that night.