Chapter Three – Flight

“What are you doing?” I shrieked. “Put me down!”

But the moment the words tore through my lips, I thought maybe I’d spoken too soon. I seriously doubted I would’ve been able to stand on solid ground right then, now that my stomach was in my throat and my head was spinning.

I’d never gotten the chance to fly on an airplane, before there weren’t any planes left in the sky, but God sure had a funny way of reminding me to be careful what I wished for.

With the way I was positioned over Captain Caveman and too terrified to close my eyes, his butt was the only thing I could see, if I didn’t want to watch our inevitable fall to our deaths.

But at least Jesus had blessed himself with a really nice butt.

Really nice.

He even had a cute little birthmark on his holiest of cheeks.

Did it make me a bad Christian for noticing?


However it was the last in a long list of things I didn’t want to think about right now. But at least my not-so-God-like musings kept my mind off of the fact that we were flying through the treetops.


And because I didn’t see any wings sprouting from his back – I’d be getting thumped pretty good right about now if he had them – I chanced a peek around his side and saw that he was using the plethora of long thick vines that hung down from the jungle ceiling to swing us from one tree to the next.

And clenching my hands in fright, I could feel they weren’t empty and looked down to see they had filled themselves with his cheeks, when I’d chanced my peek.

He felt so real.

And solid.


Forgive me Lord, but I couldn’t help but noticing.

And I’d lost not only my mind, but I’d lost track of where we’d been, which meant I didn’t know where we were when he finally decided to bring our flight on Jesus Airways in for a landing.

A hard one.

My head slapped against his back when his feet landed on the ground and without thinking, I smacked his ass in retaliation, just as he pulled me off and put me on the ground.

“Ass!” I yelled out, unsure if I was calling him one or naming the best part of him.

That I’d touched so far.

If he really wasn’t real, then my imagination sure was mean.

But I refused to put into context just what was so mean about it.

And as if to prove it, no sooner had my hand dropped down, still stinging from where I’d smacked him, when he reciprocated by smacking my ass!

And while it had surprised me, that wasn’t the only sensation running through me.

I really was a bad Christian.

But before I could yell at him – or tell him to do it again – he started walking away and only then did I see something else I hadn’t expected.

You’d think finding a naked mute Jesus giant would have prepared me to expect the unexpected by now.

But it hadn’t, because my jaw dropped open seeing the wreckage of a small jet-like airplane he was walking towards. And he kept glancing back every few steps until he finally stopped and waited, for me apparently. But curiosity got the better of me, so I cautiously started moving towards him, which got his feet moving again.

Me and my damn wonky instincts.

I couldn’t tell the age of the plane, but it certainly wasn’t World War II era or anything. I’m sure it was even considered swanky in its heyday.

Whenever in the hell that was.

And while Einstein equations were well out of my grasp, I could at least do basic math and I gasped out loud – saying my thoughts out loud – just as it dawned on me, “Is this how you got here?”

Was he the lone survivor of a plane crash?

Barely making out the twisted metal underneath the vines that had grown over the top of it, it was a wonder he’d survived at all.

Especially if it had been bad enough to knock his clothes right off of him.

But given the amount of time it would have taken for that much foliage to have grown over the plane, I guessed he had to have been there for years.

Had he spent them all alone?

Looking at him objectively – as much as one could when staring at a naked mute Jesus giant – I would guess he couldn’t have been any older than Jason.

So just how long had he been there?

Had there been other survivors?

If so, where were they now?

Suddenly my life at sea didn’t seem so bad.

At least I’d had my family with me for most of it.

But he was playing his cards really close to his naked mute Jesus giant chest, so it wasn’t like I could ask him the million and one questions running through my mind.

But then another question jumped into the mix.

Maybe he was deaf?

Since he had his back to me, I decided to play at being a little Einstein myself by performing my own scientific experiment and snuck up behind him, and then screamed as loud as I could.

And the results came back instantly, telling me he could hear.

I knew it when he jumped a mile into the air.

And given the tiny shriek he let out, I was consoled by the knowledge I wasn’t the only little girl on the island.

He whipped around and stared at me, both in a panic and accusatorily, so I cemented my bad Christian status by snickering out, “I didn’t think you would be a soprano.”

Not when he had the body of a baritone.


Bad Christian…

I knew it for sure when I snickered again, thinking he shouldn’t mind since he obviously worshipped the Banana Gods.

For obvious reasons.

But I really shouldn’t be thinking those things about Jesus.

For obvious reasons.

So I flinched, doubting he was about to make the sign of the cross on my forehead, when his hand came up and touched my face. I wasn’t sure what he was doing at first, but I didn’t feel threatened, so much as confused when he ran his rough fingertips across my mouth.

And I stilled completely when his lips parted and a throaty chuckle came out of them.

It was the first sound I’d heard him make, but it didn’t sound right.

Like he’d thought it was funny too that he worshipped the Banana Gods.

It sounded forced.

Like he was mimicking the sound I’d made.

Well, I already had a seagull shaped feathered telepathic German Sheppard…

So why not add a naked no longer mute Jesus giant parrot to the mix?

Maybe between the two of them, if they got together and teamed up, I could get something that was actually useful.

Like a chocolate cake.

But before I could change their names to Betty and Crocker, I decided to see if he could mimic any other sounds. So I slowly reached up and took his hand in my own, bringing it down from my face to put his palm on my chest, and stared back at him, sounding out, “Soo-kie.”

He looked like he was concentrating on the way my mouth and tongue worked, so I said it again, more slowly that time, and smiled when he repeated my name back to me.


“Very good!” I grinned, feeling ridiculously proud the naked Jesus giant who had essentially kidnapped me, was no longer mute.

Clearly, I had no self-preservation instincts whatsoever.

But perhaps my self-assessment had been too rash because when both his eyes and both hands came down to grope at my boobs, I smacked them away and yelled, “No! Not good!

But it was a lie.

And yet another item on my overflowing list of things that made me a bad Christian.

And the telling of the lie wasn’t it.

“No!” he yelled back, but again I only got the feeling he was mimicking me, so I didn’t bother yelling back.

But I was definitely a bad enough Christian to teach him the lyrics of Mariah Carrey’s, ‘Dreamlover’ if he got the hang of this talking thing down. It had been the number one song on the charts right before everything had fallen apart and the only song I remembered all of the lyrics to.

Much to Jason’s dismay.

And perhaps sensing he had a karaoke night in his future, he didn’t wait for me to say anything else and grabbed my hand to pull me along with him. But it wasn’t until he pulled some of the vines apart that I could see the opening and willingly followed behind him, as he climbed into what was left of the plane.

It was probably the length of a city bus, but the floor of the plane was split open like a cracked egg, with the nose and tail jutting at an upwards angle. A little bit of light managed to get through the dirty windows, so I could see some of the inside and I startled when my eyes landed on the cockpit.

And the two skeletons still strapped into their seats.

Both were aged to the point there was essentially nothing left but bones, but I could guess their genders based on their clothes and what was left of their hair.

A male and a female.

I could also guess what killed them given the gaping crack in the female’s skull and the metal rod poking straight through the male’s chest.

“Were they your parents?” I whispered, but not really expecting an answer.

So my head whipped around in surprise when I heard him trying to sound something out.


“She was your mommy?” I guessed out loud. My heart broke for him in that moment, thinking he must have been really young, if he’d still been calling her ‘mommy’, so I sounded it out again more slowly and said, “Mah mee.”

He stared at me, looking both confused and in concentration, before he shook his head and grabbed my hand. Putting it on his chest, he tried again and said, “Mmaaahhnkeee.”



“Monkey?” I asked, with my eyes going wide, thinking I’d understood.

And then they widened even more, but in fear that time, as I asked, “There are monkeys on this island?”

But why wouldn’t there be?

This was Banana Paradise!

I hadn’t seen or heard anything that would make me think there were monkeys around, but then I hadn’t really seen or heard him until he’d wanted me to.

But instead of looking fearful, he only looked back at me in recognition, as he slowly sounded out, “Muhnkee.”

And he followed it with a small smile on his lips, when he seemed to nod as he repeated it again and pressed my hand into his chest essentially saying, “Monkey.”


You’re the monkey?”

His parents had named him Monkey?

And I thought Sookie was bad.

But doubting that was the case, I decided to think about that later and looked around, taking in as much as I could before we lost the light. Living the life of a scavenger for eight years, when my eyes landed on the luggage I could see towards the back end of the plane, I moved passed him to reach for it, hoping there would be something we could use.

And then I paused for a moment, realizing I’d just thought in terms of ‘we’.

It had been a while since I’d done that.

And I really hoped this all wasn’t just some elaborate dream and my Dreamlover would come back and bite me in the ass.

But pulling open the first suitcase I reached, I doubted even my imagination could be so cruel, when I pulled the first of many outfits out.

All of them meant for a little boy no older than five.

Previous Next

46 comments on “Chapter Three – Flight

  1. puffally says:

    Poor little eric by himself

  2. Ah that explains the nudity then not that any of us mind!
    Poor Eric! 😦

  3. Who could have a problem with a naked Scandinavian “dangling” from the trees. It’s absolutely hilarious and fun and sad all at the same time, I love it!

  4. aprilshowers021 says:

    I absolutely LOVE this story. I’m not gonna lie, there were some tears on my part for the loss of Jason and Sookie being all alone. But you are working your comedy magic into the mix beautifully. Can’t wait for more!

  5. lostinspace33 says:

    Poor Eric! He’s been there alone for years!

  6. So I knew this was coming, but the reality of him being on the island alone for twenty years is staggering. I can see why Sookie would be shell shocked by this discovery.

  7. missron80 says:

    Ohhhh. Poor adorable mini Eric all alone after the crash! Dammit. Now I appear to have something in my eye. *sniffle*

  8. trubie35 says:

    Now poor Eric and poor Sookie!
    Great story! Love it!

  9. scangefanfic says:

    I’m absolutely loving this story! Can’t wait for more….

  10. sluggysmom says:

    Oh wow. Girl, you have a talent! I get pulled into each and every story!!!

  11. treewitch703 says:


  12. ljhjelm says:

    Another wonderful chapter to a awesome story.

  13. Ok, a little creepy tidbit, but the nickname for my son in Monkey cause he has always like to climb and hang and swing on anything and everything.

  14. Mindy says:

    I feel bad for Eric. Im glad he found Sookie. I like this story already.

  15. Razzie says:

    Wow! Very nice chapter. No contact with the outside world and being alone all those years. Sookie is the new toy. Is this going to be innocent Eric?

  16. switbo says:

    Love, love this story!

  17. duckbutt60 says:

    So sorry for Eric. Wonder if his family only spoke Swedish when he was a boy and he doesn’t understand English. It’ll be interesting Sookie teaching him. And….I’m imagining a little “Blue Lagoon” in here as well 🙂

  18. Loftin says:

    Aww..poor baby grew up all alone. Well, maybe not ALL alone but without any humans around. This is fantastic, I can’t wait for more.

  19. itsamia71 says:

    Fantastic new story – I’m in love with it already! Very funny, but then you manage to bring me up short with the realities of the situation. I can definitely live with the constant images of naked Eric!!

  20. jules3677 says:

    “a naked no longer mute Jesus giant parrot” laughed myself silly at that description. The images in my mind were rather obscene. Your island tarzan giant has been stranded there a lot longer than Sookie thought. Rather impatiently waiting to read how this story proceeds.

  21. murgatroid98 says:

    Fabulous! I can’t imagine a five year-old child surviving all this time. As someone else said, maybe he is Swedish and has never heard English. He has no social skills and no idea how to be with other people. Sookie has her work cut out for her. Good, it gives her something to focus on other than her own misery.

  22. Julianne says:

    Well….you’ve won me over yet again.

  23. askarsgirl says:

    Omg my heart just broke reading your last line. Sweet little five year old Eric on that island all alone for all those years! I wonder if he remembers his name? And I wonder if Sookie has any of Jason’s old clothes still? Although I would be tempted to let him keep swinging around the island naked😉

  24. arubaredx says:

    This is so much fun I am loving it

  25. ragna01 says:

    3 chapters in and Im hooked! Love where your muse takes you!

  26. amandagm says:

    I love this! Just great! Your writing is awesome!

  27. hartvixen123 says:

    Poor Eric. He’ s been alone for so long! I’m really loving this story. I’m hooked and can’t wait to see what happens next. Great chapter!

  28. It just occurred to me that Sookie is going to have to teach him everything. There is such a thing as letting nature take its course, but she is going to have to communicate with him somehow to tell him what she likes. Should be interesting since she is a virgin herself…

  29. luvvamps says:

    My heart just breaks for the little boy! So much emotion. Can’t wait for more!

  30. georgiasuzy says:

    OMG! The clothes were for a boy of 5 – our poor, poor Eric. All these years alone. Maybe his family fled like Sookie’s did, but instead of living on a boat they were more mobile. Monkey could’ve been his nickname. Loving it!

  31. kleannhouse says:

    loving the communication going on and now she is finding out more about him… damn his poor parents. KY

  32. cros8262 says:

    I’m along for the ride on this story too! Looks like a fun one!

  33. GB says:

    Lord knows I dont mind his nudity..

  34. lilydragonsblood says:

    aahhhh!!! *dabs away a tear*….poor eric being alone for so long, but now he has company at long last….loving this story! x

  35. smanfan says:

    I need more storyyyyy!!!!!! love this

  36. ashmo2000 says:

    This story is too funny! ! Looks like with the end of the world on an uninhabited(mostly) island Sookie has found herself a Jesus petting zoo with a giant Jesus muhnkee. Oh, the fun they’ll have! !

  37. shandiii says:

    Another brilliant story, loving it

  38. More please? I fucking love your work. Seriously! I can’t get enough of it!

  39. fanficglo says:

    Awwwwwe, poor little monkey was all alone for so long!

    Can’t wait to find out what happens next 🙂

  40. ncmiss12 says:

    OMG! That is so sad that he had been on that island all by himself since he was five! Poor Boy! I bet his parents would call him their little monkey and he thought that was his name. That is even sadder! Awe. I feel bad for Sookie too. I wonder if Eric can help her get the boat off the beach and on to the land some how to be safer. Then she can move Eric into the boat with her and have a team of cute little blond babies together!

  41. tanseynz says:

    Hmmm all alone since the age of five, yet when he encounters a woman he zeros in on her boobs? That is SO Eric! Love this story – hope you get back to it.

  42. Claire says:

    Omg poor Eric 😦 this is a great story. I hope u update soon 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s