Chapter 8 – Communications 101


I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

Blowing out the air that was just as unhelpful as my mental chant, I opened my eyes and looked up at the Viking-turned-vampire-turned-popsicle-turned-me-into-a-vampire and shook my head, hoping I wouldn’t always feel so…

So…high strung?



Honestly, all of the above applied – and then some – but knowing Niall would be back at any time – and it’s not like we hung a sock on the door to let him know not to come in because we were up to sexnanigans – I focused on the here and now.

And here and now I needed a shower.

I’d taken thousands of them, so it was no big deal. Right?

Strip. Get wet. Soap up. Rinse off. Dry off.

But I found myself feeling incredibly – and more so, ridiculously – shy, standing there in front of Eric-er, with only one arm freed from my sleeve, while my flighty brain flitted off to wonder if there wasn’t some sort of moral or societal code that said I shouldn’t be wanting to jump my vampire daddy.

Because I no longer believed he was my Dream vampire daddy.

He was just dreamy in a pillage-my-lady-parts sort of way.

But the longer I stayed in this weird Bizarro World, where me and Mr. Dreamsicle flew the friendly skies – sans plane – with pointy teeth protruding from our gums and where the key ingredient to our Bloody Mary’s would involve some random chick named ‘Mary’, the less I felt like I would be waking up.

Not any time soon, but at all.

So the things I felt for him – the things I was feeling for him even now – should feel wrong.

Shouldn’t they?

But looking at him now, with his pointy parts being displayed not just from his gums, I couldn’t deny it.

I wanted him like a fat kid wanted an ice cream sundae.

I even wanted to lick him bottom-of-the-bowl-clean when I was done.

So I attempted to appease myself with the knowledge the damage had already been done. His pointy man parts had already pillaged my lady parts – numerous times – and knowing the hot water would run out long before I could ever adequately express my concerns in a way he could understand, I just got on with it.

And since I didn’t know gobbledygook to tell him what I wanted right now, I had to use what God gave me.


He hadn’t moved a muscle – consciously, anyway – the entire time we’d been standing there. Even though the lust was steaming up the room faster than the hot water, Eric-er just stood there, seemingly content to let me do as I pleased. And for some reason, that only made me want him more.

And I was coming to learn, Pointy-teeth Me had a lot less patience than Regular-old Me.

After stalling for so long, I had the rest of my clothes off in two shakes of a unicorn’s tail, but I took my time undressing him.

In spite of having already seen him naked more times than I would care to admit, it still felt a lot like Christmas morning.

And I was finally getting to unwrap the biggest gift in the pile.

Unbuttoning his shirt was a breeze, which was yet another sign I was on a walkabout in Bizarro World. My fine motor skills had been slowly diminishing – a symptom of the terminal disease I was apparently cured from – but seeing his bare chest come into view, I decided I could spare another minute to marvel over that now.

Apparently I had infinite minutes to marvel over not dying in a conventional sense.

Dipping my head forward, I trailed my tongue across his abs, tracing the definition between each of his muscles, before working my way up across his pecs. I could sense his pleasure at my actions, even though I could only feel the low rumble in his chest thanks to my tongue working its way across him.

His pants were the next to go and I had to force myself to not jump him right then and there. A hard thing to do now that his pogo stick was begging me to ride it.

It was even crying.

Sort of.

But still feeling the dirt on my skin, I pushed the dirty thoughts from my mind for now and stepped into the shower, pulling Eric-er along behind me.

With my back to the spray of water, I let the water rinse away the top layer of filth from my skin and smiled at the look of wonder on his face while he watched. Indoor plumbing hadn’t been invented back when he was still alive – or dead.

Or whatever it was we both were now.

So I figured now was as good of a time as any to start our Communications 101 class by gesturing to the nozzle and our immediate surroundings, while I said, “Shower.”


Even though the Niall creature appeared human, the fact his domicile could magic warm rainwater from a metal stick above our heads told me otherwise. My Soo-key didn’t appear fazed by it at all, so perhaps it wasn’t vampire who had revealed themselves to humans.

But pixies had?

It was the only explanation. Having drained her body myself, I knew my Soo-key was completely human when I turned her. But I had no such knowledge of the Niall.

I would taste him myself later on, if he didn’t offer another suitable explanation.

But that could wait. For now I wanted to enjoy the magic hot spring waterfall with my Soo-key.

Her restraint was truly remarkable for a newborn. She had resisted feeding on the pixie, in spite of her hunger.

Even now, she was resisting her urge to attack me and sate her other kind of hunger.

It was impressive.

But hearing her say, “Shower,” while gesturing to our surroundings – and feeling a steady flow of determination coming from her, overriding her ever present lust – I figured she was trying to teach me her strange language.

So I gave her what I hoped she was looking for by mimicking her actions and repeating, “Shower.”

Picking up the nuances of other languages had been a gift I’d had as a human – one that saved me countless beatings from my Maker when I was able to learn his native language quickly – so I hoped to be able to converse with her sooner than later.

Even without our bond, her expression alone had told me her ability to understand my native language was a long way off.

But happiness bubbled through her and into me through our bond, hearing me repeat what she’d obviously been trying to teach me, and I couldn’t resist smiling in return.

Before her, I couldn’t remember that last time I’d felt that particular emotion.

Pure happiness.

But feeling it again now, I knew I would do whatever I could to make her always feel that way.

Reaching over and picking up one of several odd looking jars, she peeled open the top and poured a small amount of its contents into the palm of her hand. The scent it emitted was foreign, but pleasant, and I watched as she mixed it into her hair.

The concoction began to bubble up, much like like the surf of the Northern Sea crashing onto the shores where I’d lived as a human. And much like that memory, the woman in front of me evoked the same sense of emotion.


After working the mixture through the length of her hair, she rinsed it out in the magic waterfall before pouring another serving into her palm and looking at me, saying, “Shampoo.”

Maneuvering her way around me in the small enclosure, she moved me into the spray of water and reached up with her free hand. Holding onto the back of my neck, she gently pulled, urging me to lean down, while giggling, “Geez, you’re tall. You’re gonna have to duck down to get your hair wet.”

I hadn’t understood a word that she’d said, but the happiness she felt in that moment was so strong – so heady – I couldn’t think of a time when I had ever wanted her more.

Using her actions to translate what I thought she wanted – because I wanted it too – one hand wrapped around her waist, while the other slid up her back to the nape of her neck and held her there as my lips crashed down onto hers. Her startled gasp quickly turned into a low throaty moan that didn’t need translating.

Our ability to communicate in this way had never been an issue.

The size of the magic rainfall’s small enclosure could have been, but nothing short of the sun’s appearance over our heads was going to stop us now. Holding her body to mine, I stood up and pressed her back against the wall, while my lips trailed down her neck and chest, catching the water with my tongue.

Murmuring, “I could get used to teaching you stuff,” above me, her hands began massaging my scalp and hair with the concoction she’d poured into her palm. The sensual intimacy of the act only intensified my need for her, but I ignored my own wants for the moment, just wanting to tend to hers.

That had been the plan, anyway.

Instead my slippery lover managed to slide down from her perch and slid me down her throat in the next second. My head fell back and my eyes closed, with my hands going to her hair, while the warm rainfall beat against my scalp.

Reading our bond, like it wasn’t days old and instead we’d been together for years, she knew exactly how to move against me to bring me to the edge.

A quick study, perhaps it wouldn’t take very long to teach her my native language.

It didn’t take very long for me to cum down her throat either and she giggled when I hoisted her back up my body, laughing against my lips, “That’s ONE way to rinse the shampoo from your hair.”

I might not have understood her words, but I didn’t need to speak any for her to understand me when I lifted her higher up the wall and planted my face against her entrance. Her legs wrapped around my neck, with her hands holding the back of my head, and mumbled, “This whole not needing to breathe thing has its upsides.”

It made no difference I couldn’t understand what she’d said. I knew from our bond – whatever it was – I couldn’t agree more.

And through our bond, I knew she was reaching the precipice of her own climax, so slipped my hand around the top of her left leg and down to her small bundle of nerves. Rubbing against it with preternatural speed, I turned to face the large artery running down the inside of her right thigh and bit.

The magic rainfall enclosure became an echo chamber, when her cries of release echoed around the room.

Slipping her legs from my shoulders, I brought her pliant body back down the wall and slowly slid inside of her. With the edge taken off of both of us, it was easier to take my time, just enjoying the way her inner muscles gripped the length of my cock. Expanding and contracting around me, it was as though her very core was urging me deeper inside of her body.

Still in a daze, she managed to reach over and grab yet another oddly shaped container. I knew from the smell its contents were different and yet similar to the other, when she held it up and drizzled the liquid from within over each of us.

Sealing the top, she let it fall from her hands, instead using them to rub the slippery mixture around our skin, as far as her reach would allow.

“Soap,” she smiled softly before pulling my lips to hers.

Feeling the overwhelming amount of affection flowing through our bond, she could soap me as often as she wished.

Turning her may have been an impulsive decision on my part, but even with all of the struggles that came with it, I didn’t regret it.

I could never regret her.

Once we were done and had rinsed the pleasant smelling liquid from our skin in the now cold water, she used thickly woven cloths to dry our bodies. While I was still suspect over the Niall creature’s magical abilities, I had to admit I enjoyed bathing in his rainfall much more than I ever had in any cold lake.

Of course, my Soo-key probably had a lot to do with that.

Now dressed in the garments we had been provided, we traveled back to the main living area where the one called Niall was waiting for us.

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, I could only assume it was from whatever she had heard from his thoughts and his next words spoken to her only deepened her discomfiture.

“I take it everything went well?”

Having already taken a seat across from him, she turned and made some sort of eep noise, with her face now buried against my arm.

Hearing his questioning tone, I assumed his query had to do with her assignment of showing me how his magic rainfall worked, but my child wasn’t the only quick study.

Her Maker was too.

So I matched his raised brow with my own and smirked, “Shower.”


Sweet baby Jesus and all twelve disciples…

Hearing the cockiness of his tone, I never imagined there would come a time when I wished all he could say was ‘Whack-a-doodle.’

At least I had an eternity to learn to never say never.

Because pulling my face out of his freshly scrubbed armpit, the smirk on his face said it all.

The look on Niall’s face had plenty to say too.

So I forced myself to not listen with anything more than my ears – because the odds were against me when it came to the odds he hadn’t heard any other sort of cockiness coming from the two of us cumming – and asked, “Have you been back for very long?”

“No…” he denied in a way that I didn’t need to be a mind reader to figure out he was lying.

Thank sweet baby Jesus and all twelve disciples for small favors.

Changing the subject – because our shared shower would never be a subject I would want to discuss with him – I thought now would be a good time to spread some of my gratitude around to the other savior in the room and said, “I don’t know how to thank you for…everything. But I am grateful. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Never mind the fact Eric-er and I needed him to be our translator, but without Niall, I wasn’t sure I ever would have allowed myself to believe this was really real.

That I was a vampire.

Unless, of course, Anne Rice called me up, wanting to interview me.

Otherwise I probably would have just thought I was in the midst of the longest dream ever. Or maybe that I’d died in my sleep and instead of moving on to Heaven, my soul decided to do a tour through the nine circles of Hell.

Having gone as low as I could go the moment I clawed my way out of the dirt and across my vampire daddy’s daddy-parts, I’d easily shimmied right under that First Circle Limbo stick and had obviously set up camp in the Second Circle.


At least that would have been easier to believe than having pointy teeth, immortality, and a Viking vampire daddy.

“It is I who should thank you, Sookie,” my mentor and pseudo-grandfather smiled back at me. “The gift he’s given you affects me as well. Not only do I not have to worry for your health any longer, but your new state of being is like getting a front row seat to evolution itself.”


“Do you think one day everyone will be like us?” I asked, not sure what to think about that.

There’d certainly be less traffic on the streets during the day time.

Score one for the ozone!

“Don’t be silly,” he laughed. “Who would you eat?”


Feeling her sudden onslaught of distress, I dropped my fangs and hissed at the magical human-like creature across from us, accusing, “What are you saying to my child? You’ve upset her.”

I would have ripped his throat out, but I had a feeling that would upset her even more.

She’d been feeling nothing but gratitude, mixed with small doses of confusion, but that could have been caused by any number of things. Getting used to her heightened senses and vampiric instincts would take time.

But it was when his words had been interspersed with laughter that she began to fret.

“I’m sorry,” he said, leaning forward and reaching his hand out towards her in the same moment, but he didn’t have the chance to make contact with her body.

There was no way he could have gotten around my body when I blocked hers with mine.

Her dismay turned into panic, with her arms wrapping around me from behind, saying, “Sit back before he kills you!”

He’d already startled backwards at my defensive stance and I could hear his heartbeat thrumming at a quickened pace in his chest. But whatever she’d said made him look back at me and say, “I didn’t mean to upset her. My words were poorly chosen and I’ve apologized.”

“You will not upset her again,” I warned, hating that I couldn’t verify his claim on my own.

I hated not understanding what was being said by her or between them, so if this pixie-human was to be our tutor in teaching us how to communicate with one another, I wanted it to start now.

And I wanted to start off by making one thing in particular very clear.

Staring back at him, I quickly asked him to translate the phrase I felt the most strongly about and repeated it back to them both, using their foreign tongue.


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32 comments on “Chapter 8 – Communications 101

  1. tj6james6 says:

    Wow! It’s nice to see one of my favorite stories back :).

  2. valady1 says:

    What a delightful treat, I adore this story.

  3. gyllene says:

    So happy you’ve updated this story. I don’t know if I want them to understand each other or not. I love them trying to figure everything out.

  4. ericluver says:

    What a wonderful thing to wake up to. Love this story. Thanks for the update 😀

  5. duckbutt60 says:

    Yes! Love the update! Hotness in the magical “pixie shower” –can’t beat that!!

  6. kleannhouse says:

    loved the update, this adventure is a fun one. KY

  7. lostinspace33 says:

    There’s that possessive vampire we all know and love!

    Thank you so much for a new chapter of this one! I have forgotten it at all.

  8. woot! woot! nice update. have to reread the story, not that it is any hardship mind you. thank you for the update. i think Nial would have to teach either Eric or Sookie a new language. which will it be? can’t wait for the next chapter! 😀

  9. msbuffy says:

    I love this story. It’s so much fun! Thanks for the fabulous update!

  10. Juicy says:

    Love this story – so glad you found time to update it for us!

  11. aprl73 says:

    Such a great story! I’m glad you were inspired again 🙂

  12. jjbuffy2 says:

    I’m always thrilled to see your updates, and this story is one of my favs… pixie magic and unicorns *cheers* ❤

  13. Kittyinaz says:

    Swoons… Eric-er has some major moves!! Oh-la-la!! Thanks for the update! And everyone needs to remember, Sookie is Eric’s…

  14. gb says:

    Another story updated that is wonderful thank you so much

  15. nedbella says:

    Doing my happy dance. Just picture Elaine from Seinfeld…..LOL. I’ve never forgotten this story. It’s one I found very intriguing. Such a different twist and I love it. Plus o love it when he says ” She. Is. Mine “. The hottest line ever!

  16. mom2goalies says:

    Thank you so much for updating this. It is . One of my favorite stories!

  17. sweetmg says:

    Ahh. Your brain inside Eric’s brain. Perfect combination.

  18. askarsgirl says:

    So grateful for this update! I love this story so much! Eric-er and
    Soo-key(love how he says her name btw) are too much fun😃

  19. fanficglo says:

    I admit that I forgot about these two. But I’m glad you’re putting some life into these two! They sure put a smile on my face with their whack-a-doodle shinnanagans 🙂

  20. saintsfan022010 says:

    Love this story and this Eric and Sookie are hilarious..

  21. ashmo2000 says:

    I’m all caught up and I’m loving this story! Sookie and Eric have a lot to learn about each other but first how to communicate.

  22. […] kjwrit The Secrets That We Keep: Epilogue, Revamped […]

  23. […] kjwrit The Secrets That We Keep: Epilogue Revamped […]

  24. nicolle1977 says:

    This is my favorite story you have because I’m an archaeologist! I love it.

  25. Ericshipperforever says:

    I had forgotten how much I was enjoying this story and am now eagerly looking forward to more!

  26. redjane12 says:

    Such a great story… Eric and Sookie’s communication issues in this story have to be at an all time high…. a book of guiness record… and yet they overcome them in such funny ways… Eric’s interpretation of things is most hilarious..

  27. jules3677 says:

    An update!!!! Plus my favourite fanfic scene; showering. Vamps don’t breathe so you can just let your imagination go wild. Liked you scene plus the ‘learning English’ tutorial. 🙂

  28. switbo says:

    Love this story! I was so excited to see an update. There’s that possessive Viking we all know and love!

  29. luvvamps says:

    Can’t wait for more!

  30. Judith says:

    Thank you, for the update. 🙂

  31. andrea says:

    Please please, make it your priority !!
    We want an update ….
    I’m begging here 🙂

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