Chapter 18


After I hid Sookie’s purse underneath the pile of sheets in the laundry room I went to bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep for shit. I kept going back and forth over whether or not I was doing the right thing; not about hiding her purse, but whether or not I should go through with our fake marriage. There was something about her that bothered me, or rather my reaction to her that bothered me.

Never before had I gone through so much trouble to try and make a girl happy. Why would I? I didn’t give a shit about them once I’d gotten off and there was always another willing body to take their place. I didn’t even have any guarantees that Sookie would eventually give in to me, so was I willing to blue ball it for an entire year?


Even if she did give in and I got to fuck her and actually remember it, would I be willing to deny myself the pleasures of other women for an entire year?

Not likely unless her pussy actually was magical.

The more I thought about it, the more worked up I became feeling pissed off all over again. She was definitely getting a lot more out of the deal than I was by getting to live with me. By her own admission she’d never experienced a life of luxury so I was sure it was just a matter of time before her tastes started to reflect what my bank account could afford despite her pleas for me to allow her to pay for something. She had more personalities than Sybil, flipping back and forth from sweet-girl-next-door to fire breathing dragon and my reactions to each of them were just as psychotic. Only twenty four hours earlier I was single, footloose and fancy free, able to fuck any woman in my path. Now I was married to a woman I didn’t know, she was sleeping across the hall in her own bed, and I couldn’t seem to have a civilized conversation with her for longer than an hour, so if fucking her was to occur I’d have to make it a quickie.

I tossed and turned all night long before deciding to get up and go for a run. I normally ran on the days I didn’t go to the gym, but hardly ever on weekends because I was usually up late the night before, whether it was from partying, gambling, fucking, or all three. Running always cleared my head and with every fall of my footsteps on the pavement, I started to feel better. In the light of day the things I’d gone over the night before didn’t seem that bad as I recalled her sense of humor (if she cooked she probably had a whole list of spice names she could use on the cocksucker) and her willingness to go toe to toe with my father. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do about any of it, but in the meantime I resigned myself to try and just go with flow for now and at least give Sookie a chance until she’d given me a reason not to, however I wasn’t going to try and be someone I wasn’t just to please her.

I was making my way back up the driveway when I saw her standing in the yard staring at me. It had only been a few hours since I’d last seen her, but my memory didn’t do her justice. It was a lot easier to dismiss the idea of being with her when I wasn’t confronted with just how beautiful she was and I felt the smile form on my face before I could hide the way she affected me. Her responding smile only weakened my resolve and once I had her wrapped in my arms, with the two of us laughing in the spray of the sprinklers, every thought I’d had the night before of not bothering to go through with the charade left my mind.

I was thankful Sookie didn’t look at me when we were in the kitchen drying off because her soaked white t-shirt hid nothing, nor did my loose shorts hide my obvious arousal seeing her. Her nipples were hard, straining the light pink lace bra I could clearly see under her shirt, and I vaguely considered offering to do her laundry right then in the hopes that she might strip her clothes off in the kitchen. At least I still had the presence of mind to remember to pull off my own shirt when she asked about her purse and was relieved when it seemed to distract her enough to run from the room muttering something about going to church. I thought we were going shopping, but if she wanted to go to church I’d just drop her off and pick her up later, already convinced I’d be unable to enter the house of God without a personal invitation from the Man himself.

I took a quick shower, throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt when I was done, and found Sookie waiting for me in the kitchen. I had to hide my grin when I noticed she was hesitant to look at me with the relief showing on her face when she finally chanced a glance and saw that I was dressed.

“I still can’t find my purse.”

Would it be too obvious if I took my shirt off again?

“I’m sure it’ll turn up later, so you can get it next time. Did you want to go shopping or to church?” I asked, hoping my offer to let her pay for the next trip would appease her and the change of subject would work. I’m sure I could find another reason to take my shirt off then too.

I wondered why she blushed from my question, but it seemed like I would probably never figure her out anyway. She bit her lip before replying, “Shopping. I need to buy a coffee pot too.”

I was glad I’d removed the posters from their frames the night before as I grabbed a hold of Sookie’s hand, ignoring how natural it felt, and led her out to the garage. Pointing at the stacks of boxes in the corner I said, “I’m pretty sure there’s one in there.”

Not long after I first moved in, Pam had gone shopping not only for furniture for the living room, but items she said a grown-up’s house should have, however the only things that got unpacked were the dishes, silverware, and glassware. I’m pretty sure she took her housekeeper along to help her pick out the items knowing Pam probably couldn’t toast a Pop Tart and I took smug satisfaction in the knowledge that I could if I had a toaster.

Sookie dove into the pile like it was Christmas morning, pulling things out left and right, listing the items out loud as she went. “Pots and pans…serving dishes…here’s the coffee maker…utensils for the grill…a toaster…”

“Add Pop Tarts to the list,” I interrupted. I couldn’t remember the last time I had them and since Sookie seemed hell bent on cooking, I could at least make her breakfast one morning. Hopefully it would be breakfast in bed. Together. Naked.

She started loading up what she could and brought them into the kitchen with me doing the same. “Why is everything in the garage?” she asked on our way back to grab the rest.

I shrugged my shoulders saying, “I’ve lived here for three years and haven’t needed any of it yet. Pam bought all of it.” When I noticed her shaking her head I had to ask, “What?”

“Nothing really. I just couldn’t imagine letting so many beautiful things going to waste when there are so many people out there, literally, without a pot to piss in.”

Her tone was more ‘matter of fact’ than it was confrontational, but I couldn’t help feeling defensive and bit back with, “I didn’t waste money buying shit I would never use, Pam wasted my money. Money I worked my ass off to earn, but if someone were to knock on my door begging for one of those pots to piss in, I’d give it to them. Better?”

Sookie had already loaded up her arms with more boxes when her face flushed in an instant and she turned to face me, every bit as incensed as I was, saying, “I wasn’t trying to call your upstanding character into question, I was just making an observation. And I’ll have you know that a lot of those people who don’t have a pot to piss in are good hardworking souls that are too proud to beg! They’d much rather have a hand up than a hand out. Besides, they couldn’t get into your ritzy ass gated community neighborhood to knock on your fucking door to ask for one of your fucking five hundred dollar pots to piss in. Fuck!”

Before I could verbally retaliate Sookie marched back into the kitchen, dropping the boxes on the floor, and grabbed the cordless phone from the counter. I was pissed off enough that if she was calling a taxi, I’d drive her to the fucking gate of my ritzy ass neighborhood myself, but she didn’t even put the phone up to her ear and I was too curious to not follow her when she left the room. I could hear her cell phone ringing before she even opened up the laundry room door and retreated back into the kitchen berating myself for not thinking to turn it off when I saw it sitting in the side pocket of her purse.

I pretended to make myself busy by stacking the boxes on the counter and didn’t bother to look up when I heard Sookie walk back into the room until I heard her speak.

“I’m so sorry for flaking out on you this morning, I should have called…” I looked up and saw she was talking into her cell phone.

Who the fuck is she talking too?

“Oh, you saw that, huh? No. No honeymoon…”

If she asks me to take her to Hawaii or some shit, she’s outta here.

“You have no idea…So you got along okay this morning without me?”

Maybe it’s her friend Amelia?

“Alright darling…so I’ll see you next week?”

Darling? Did girls call each other ‘darling’?

“Trust me…you’re still my favorite guy.”


“I love you too Laf, bye.”

The anger I felt hearing her profess her love to her darling, her favorite guy, was all consuming so my calm tone belied the rage that roiled underneath my skin when I asked, “Is there something you want to tell me?”

When her eyes travelled to my hands, I glanced down and saw I was white knuckling some sort of metal spatula. It probably didn’t come bent in the ‘U’ shape it was now in.

Sookie cocked her eyebrow and replied, “I found my purse?”


“We need to pick up another spatula?”

Smart ass bitch.

I didn’t want to have to ask outright, but she was leaving me no choice. It was her fucking condition that there would be no fucking, so if she had some fuck buddy missing out on their Sunday morning tryst I thought I had a right to know.

And irrationally, a right to kill him.

“Who were you talking to?”

She gave me a triumphant smirk, but I couldn’t be bothered being upset over having lost the battle to give in and ask, so her one word answer just pissed me off more.


“Is Lafayette someone that’s going to go to the media telling the world you’re in love with him or is he just some random guy you fuck on Sunday mornings?” I tried to convince not only her, but myself, that I was just concerned about another cluster fuck like her brother’s interview. I don’t think I succeeded.

It felt like hours had passed while we stared each other down before she said, “I’m not in love with Lafayette, I love him like the sister I never had and he would much rather fuck you than me. He runs the homeless shelter I volunteer at.”

Why didn’t I figure that out from what she’d told me the day before? Why did I give a shit whether or not she ‘loved’ someone else? Why did I feel so fucking relieved when I heard her explanation?

I tried to sound indifferent as I replied, “Oh.” When she didn’t move or say anything else I started feeling the awkward tension creep back into the room now that Silent Sookie was back and grabbed my keys, saying, “Are you ready to go?”

I didn’t wait for her to respond and walked out to the garage, choosing to take the Audi since we’d be hauling back groceries and knowing they probably wouldn’t fit in the Corvette. Sookie climbed into the car and remained silent until we got to the ritzy ass gate and upon seeing the circus waiting on the other side she pulled a pair of sunglasses out of her purse and put them on saying, “Fuck me…”

I couldn’t resist and chuckled at the glare I was sure she was aiming my way when I replied, “Maybe when we get back if you’re a good girl.”


3 comments on “Chapter 18

  1. kleannhouse says:

    they were doing so good and them BAM a jealous rant KY

  2. lilydragonsblood says:

    ha ha ha love the wise ass remarks! x

  3. lilydragonsblood says:

    Love all the humour in this awesome story! Enjoying this annual re-read so much.

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