When I woke up on the couch, I lay there for a few minutes thinking over everything that had happened that day. Hearing Sookie tell me things about myself, that I had no memory of, left me frustrated and angry. Nothing she described sounded familiar at all and even more annoying was the fact that my actions were out of character for me. I didn’t want to believe I would’ve voluntarily flown all the way to Louisiana for her if we hadn’t already been fucking (and fucking well for me to make the effort), but I couldn’t come up with any denials, other than my disbelief, since I had no memory of it. But, to hear her say with conviction that I loved her and she loved me; that she would leave me if I cheated on her made my heart lurch.
Why did I care?
Shouldn’t I want for her to leave?
I’d never spent more than a long weekend with the same woman before getting bored and sending them on their way, but I’d apparently been with Sookie for three weeks, prior to the accident, and according to Pam I still couldn’t get enough of her. When she demanded my fidelity my first instinct was to scoff, but just looking at her made me hold back. Other than when I’d first discovered my booty-call contacts had been erased, I hadn’t thought about another woman once. I’d even ignored the flirtatious smiles given by the nurses (one even offered me a sponge bath) and other hospital workers who’d been in my room earlier that day because my every thought was consumed by Sookie.
What was she doing?
Did she really love me?
Did I really love her?
Was the rest of her body just as soft as her lips?
I wanted to find out the answers to all of those questions and made a promise to her I’d never thought I’d make to anyone; I would remain faithful. Before I even spoke the words I tried to conjure up the women from my past to see if, even now, I’d be interested in meeting up with them and found that I wasn’t. I couldn’t deny that I felt drawn to Sookie and, for the moment at least, no one else held any appeal for me.
Hell, even Pam, who I considered my closest friend (which was really sad if I thought about it), seemed more concerned about her than me, and knowing Pam was loyal to a fault brought home the idea that perhaps Sookie really was different. Alcide seemed just as affected and when I bitched about the missing posters and the poker table now being in the den, as he dropped me onto the couch, he was quick to tell me to shut the fuck up and not upset Sookie.
I felt like I was in an alternate reality, dropped into my life at a point in the future, and left to make sense of everything, but a part of me hoped I wouldn’t be left to do it on my own and I couldn’t shake the feeling that Sookie was the key to it all.
The smells wafting out of the kitchen drew me like a moth to a flame and I was halfway there before I’d even realized I’d gotten up. Seeing her standing at the stove, with her hips swaying to a song only she could hear, brought back that unfamiliar tug in my chest. My first thought was she belonged there, but thoughts of her barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen made my rational side squelch my inner caveman and speak up before she realized I was watching her. I was left dazzled by her responding smile, so I played it off and hobbled to the unfamiliar table sitting where my poker table had once resided. I couldn’t even muster up any anger over it seeing it was filled with food that she apparently cooked.
My eyes were drawn to her, secretly watching her every movement as she ate her dinner, and I wondered how someone so beautiful (and that could cook) was unattached. Or at least had been unattached until I came along. There had to be a bad side to her that I just hadn’t seen yet, but hearing her moan in delight as she ate had me wanting to see her bad side; specifically, her naughty side. When her tongue darted out to lick away the honey trailing down her arm all I wanted to do was pull her into my lap and fuck her until dawn, but knowing that she had to be on board for that to happen I decided to test the waters.
When I mentioned wanting to know what others noises she made, with the sexual undertone of my statement prevalent, the flush of her skin and her increased breathing made me think I would get my wish, so when she denied me saying, “We’re not going there Eric,” I was left confused.
She’d said she loved me.
She’d admitted we’d been intimate.
Her breasts were clearly reaching for me.
What was the problem?
Apparently the problem was because she loved me, which didn’t make any sense until she whispered her confession that she wouldn’t be able to stand it if didn’t feel anything for her when it was over. I had no way of knowing how I would feel about her, but knowing how I’d felt in the past after fucking someone (you can leave now) I found I didn’t want to lie to her. She held the key to my past, my missing memories, and for whatever reason I didn’t want to hurt her.
Maybe it was because of everything Pam had told me.
Maybe it was because of what I’d seen in the pictures and video.
Maybe it was just her.
I could tell she was wiping away the tears I didn’t want to see and even though I was almost certain my memories would return if we had sex, I didn’t want to push the issue.
Not yet anyway.
So when she decided to change the subject, I let it go for now. I knew she wanted me and I most certainly wanted her, so it was just a matter of time until I’d get my way. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t try and speed up the process though, so when she agreed to help me shower I hoped it would be one step forward in Operation Seduce Sookie.
I could tell she was flustered over the idea of helping me shower and was just thankful that she seemed to care enough about me to not turn me down when I’d asked, but as I slowly made my way upstairs I could feel my energy draining from me with every step I climbed. Sookie hovered behind me and I was suddenly more concerned for her safety, than fucking her, if I should happen to fall backwards knowing I’d hurt her on my way down. Stopping halfway up the stairs, I turned to her and said, “Why don’t you go up ahead of me.”
“No! What if you fall?” she asked.
“That’s why I want you to go ahead of me. I’m already banged up, so it won’t make a difference.”
The stern set of her jaw gave away her stance on the matter before she ever opened her mouth. “Don’t be ridiculous, now get marching,” she ordered with her finger pointing up the stairs. When I didn’t budge she crossed her arms, unknowingly hoisting her breasts up and making me lose focus for a moment, before saying, “I can stand here all night. How about you?”
Considering the wall was holding me up more than my own physical strength at the moment I gave in and painstakingly inched my way further up the stairs until I finally reached the top landing. After seeing the small changes downstairs, I wasn’t sure what to expect walking into my bedroom, but from what I could tell, it looked exactly as I’d remembered it.
I wasn’t expecting it.
I’d thought there’d be some hint of Sookie’s presence within those four walls, but when she ran back downstairs to get the waterproof cover for my cast we’d been given at the hospital, I took the opportunity to look around and found nothing of hers. My closet held only my clothes and when I peeked into the bathroom, only my things were there. I suddenly felt guilty thinking she must have moved all of her things out of our room, after I’d snapped at her the day before when I’d woken up, thinking I wouldn’t want her there.
Did I want her there?
I’d never shared my bed with anyone else and while I normally wasn’t the touchy feely type, unless fucking was involved, I couldn’t deny the sense of calm I felt whenever I touched her. As soon as she walked back into the room, the cast cover in hand, I said, “I’m sorry for snapping at you yesterday. Is that why you moved your things out of our room?”
I wasn’t sure if her ‘deer in the headlights’ look was due to the fact I apologized or if it was because I may have sounded a bit pathetic asking why we weren’t sharing closet space, but I was only left more confused when she said, “Actually, I never moved my things in here.”
“Why?” It didn’t make sense if everything she’d told me was true.
She blushed while staring at her feet before finally saying, “Well, we weren’t together together when I first moved in, so I used the spare room across the hall. After things changed with us, between the trip to Louisiana, the photo shoot, and the busy week we had after that, I guess we just never got around to discussing it.”
“So we never shared a bed?”
Why was I so disappointed?
“No, we did. I just never moved my things in here is all.” She paused for a moment before adding, “But don’t worry, I’ll go back to sleeping in the spare room.”
Why was I so disappointed?
I wanted to tell her ‘no’, that I wanted her to share my bed if only so I could test my theory and see if there really was something different about her; something different between us, but I didn’t. Something just didn’t sit right with me, after hearing how in love we were, it didn’t make sense that we weren’t sharing the bedroom.
Maybe it was all an act. She didn’t know I’d be coming home tonight, so maybe if she had she would’ve moved her things in here and I would’ve been none the wiser. I realized I had actually started to let myself believe all of her stories, but now I wasn’t so sure.
I felt myself moments away from snapping at her again, wanting to call her a liar, until I remembered she’d known about the Whales’ Song book from my childhood. If I had been willing to share that with her, surely I would’ve been willing to share my bed?
Stupid fucking emotional roller coaster.
When all I did was sigh, Sookie took that as my cue to move on from what could’ve been a potentially emotional exchange by saying, “I’ll go get the shower started,” and walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on seconds later and she reappeared in the doorway asking, “Um… do you need help? Undressing?”
I let myself get lost in the blush that rose up on her skin and even though I felt like I had the energy to undress by myself, I let my body sag against the wall as I said, “Would you mind? I feel drained.”
Feel free to drain other parts of my body as well.
“Of course,” she smiled and hesitantly walked over to me. I could tell she was feeling a little uncomfortable as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before grabbing onto the hem of my shirt and slowly lifting it up my chest. My eyes stayed on hers as she lifted it higher and I could’ve sworn they glazed over a bit when she took in my chest in front of her, but I said nothing and slouched further down the wall so she could pull the shirt over my head. I’d temporarily forgotten my torso was wrapped tightly in an Ace bandage until her fingers slid along the edge and she slowly unwound it from around my body until I was left in nothing more than my cast and my shorts.
I had never been uncomfortable with nudity and been undressed by more women than I could count, but there was something different about the way Sookie undressed me. There was a longing in her eyes, but her movements were almost timid, so I stayed silent, afraid one word from me would have her bolting from the room. But it wasn’t just that; there was something else about the way she looked at me, the way she touched me that left me feeling… something. Something I couldn’t describe.
We seemed to be at an impasse of sorts when she finally took a step back and said, “Come into the bathroom and I’ll wrap up your leg, so you can get into the shower.” I hoped she didn’t expect that I would keep my shorts on, but I said nothing and just nodded before heading into the bathroom. She motioned for me to lean up against the vanity as she squatted down in front of me and started rolling the blue latex cover up my leg like a giant sock. The sole appeared to be nonskid and I was confused by the whole thing, but Sookie seemed to know what she was doing. The cast ended at the middle of my thigh and she pulled the leg of my shorts up higher on my thigh so the top cuff was a couple of inches above my cast, before taking a small plastic squeeze pump and putting it into the open valve attached to the cover. She pumped it several times with the air being sucked out with every squeeze until it was vacuum sealed, effectively blocking my cast from any water sliding in.
“Does that feel alright? Is it too tight?” she asked with her eyes darting from her handiwork to my face.
“No, it feels fine,” I said. The longer I remained upright, the weaker I felt, but with Operation Seduce Sookie still in effect I added, “It’s certainly a lot more latex than I’m used to wearing,” and was rewarded with another blush rising up her cheeks as she mumbled something under her breath that I didn’t catch.
“What was that?” I asked.
Her blush only deepened as she said, “Nothing.” She refused to meet my eyes with hers trained on my shorts, but without any looks or unnecessary touches, she reached forward and slid them down my legs, keeping her eyes on my feet as I stepped out of them. My shower had a bench seat inside and she stayed at my side until I was finally able to sit down. All of the moving around after being sedentary for so long was really starting to wear me out and it must have shown because before she shut the shower door all of the way her eyes finally met mine as she asked, “Do you want me to come in there with you to help?”
“Yes.” Every part of me wanted her in there with me and Eric Junior stirred just hearing her offer.
She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before saying, “Okay. I’ll be right back,” and then she darted out of the room. I couldn’t decide whether or not I should be embarrassed about the wood I was sporting knowing I was about to see her naked, but when she slipped into the shower with me, I know my mouth was gaping open seeing her.
She wasn’t naked!
She’d pulled her hair up on top of her head, so I could see her swimsuit tie sticking out on the back of her neck, poking through the top of the large t-shirt that covered her all the way to the middle of her thighs.
“That’s not fair!” I whined out, speaking without thinking.
She eyed my wood for a split second before smirking back at me saying, “Haven’t you heard? Life’s not fair Eric,” as she pulled down one of the showerheads and tilted my chin up to wet my hair.
The feel of her fingers lathering the shampoo in my hair and massaging my scalp felt like a little bit of heaven and I mumbled out, “Haven’t you heard?” When she didn’t say anything I opened one eye to see if she was listening and said, “The bird is the word.”
“Argh!” she huffed. “Jason used to do that shit to me all the time! Now I’m gonna be hearing Peter Griffin singing ‘The bird bird bird, the bird is the word,’ all freakin’ night!”
I loved Family Guy and couldn’t stop the laughter from erupting from my chest before I zeroed in on what she’d said. Jason.
Was that her ex?
The ‘only other guy’ she’d been with and, more than likely, he could still remember it?
That thought killed both my wood and laughter and I tried to sound like I didn’t want to kill someone as I asked, “Uh, is that your ex?”
Sookie had been in the process of rinsing the shampoo from my hair, so my eyes were closed and I was unprepared for the loud laughter she’d let out, as well as the showerhead bouncing off the top of my head when she’d let it go.
“Ow!” I said as I automatically sat forward. With my eyes still closed I didn’t realize I would come face to breasts, but that’s what happened. My hands which had been rising up to rub the sore spot on top of my head decided to snake around her waist instead and I opened my eyes seeing her wet t-shirt now clung to her every curve.
She had a lot of them.
I liked them all.
“Fuck!” I hissed, as the shampoo ran into my open eyes, making them automatically close with my arms releasing Sookie in order to grope for the showerhead to rinse my eyes.
“Hold still,” she laughed and I felt the water hit my face as I rubbed the soap from my eyes.
She was still giggling when I could finally see again and I wondered if she’d been able to tell I didn’t particularly care for the fact I’d reminded her of her ex. I had no idea why I felt that way, but I did. “What’s so funny,” I asked, wanting confirmation of my…enemy? Rival? Something?
He was definitely something.
“You ya nut. Jason is my brother,” she laughed again. “You’ve met him.”
“Oh,” I said with my muscles relaxing. “I thought he was your ex.”
“You’ve met him too,” she said matter-of-factly as she poured some shower gel onto a wash cloth and started washing down my body.
I hated the fact I couldn’t enjoy her hands moving across my body because all I could think of was I’d met her fucking ex and now I couldn’t remember him.
Was he better looking than me?
Did he have more money?
Was he… bigger than me?
The odds were, at some point, I knew at least two answers out of those three questions, but I wasn’t sure how I’d bring it up now. I didn’t want her to know it bothered me, especially considering she only had one person in her past and I had… many more.
It turned out I didn’t have to ask because Sookie offered, “You know him from the gym. He’s a trainer there.”
Tray? Just the thought of him knowing Sookie in the biblical sense, especially when she was now denying me, had me wanting to personally neuter him the next time I saw him, but when the red haze cleared I realized it couldn’t have been Tray. He’d never been engaged, but I knew of another trainer who had been.
“Quinn?” I asked, while inside I was screaming ‘No!’ The thought of that douche bag’s paws all over her was a hundred times worse and I wondered if I hit my head against the tile wall hard enough, whether or not it would knock that memory right back out again.
“Yes,” she huffed. “Quinn. You already told me about you all’s little competition with women. Congratulations on your win,” she ended sarcastically.
“Sookie,” I said, grabbing her hand. I waited for her to look into my eyes and could see she was upset, but whether or not it was over me or him, I didn’t know. I found it didn’t matter at the moment and said sincerely, “I’m sorry.”
“For what Eric?” she asked.
Good question. “For upsetting you?”
My unplanned apology seemed to help because she smiled saying, “I’m fine,” as her hands got busy cleaning me once again. She was very thorough with the exception of one area in particular and I wasn’t surprised when she placed the wash cloth into my hand saying, “You take care of cleaning that,” before slipping out the shower door.
By the time I’d finished cleaning that and rinsing off, I turned the water off and slid the shower door open seeing Sookie had already taken off her wet t-shirt and had wrapped her body in a towel, as she stood there with another one waiting in her hands. She climbed back into the shower and dried me as I sat there on the bench before handing me one of my crutches to lean on as she wrapped the towel around my waist. “Why are you bothering Sookie? You’ve already seen all of me.” She blushed again, so I added, “And it’s completely unfair that I didn’t get to see you naked. I thought marriage was supposed to be about equality.”
It wasn’t my best argument, but I was tired.
“Fine,” she said with my hopes rising up thinking that was a lot easier than I’d expected. Only instead of stripping herself, Sookie snatched the towel from around my waist as she asked, “Better? I know you prefer to sleep naked.”
I reached for her towel, but she was faster than me at the moment, so I just huffed my way to the bed and sat down on the edge. Sookie walked over and opened the valve on the side of the cast cover while running her fingers along the top cuff and allowing air back in so she could pull it off. After she rewrapped my ribs with the Ace bandage, she disappeared into the bathroom and after I inched my way onto the bed, I looked up and saw her walking out of my room with that unfamiliar feeling in my chest coming back.
Was she coming back?
Was she even going to say goodnight?
Did she want to sleep in here with me?
Did I want her too?
My earlier question of whether or not she’d shared my bed previously was answered as soon as I grabbed the pillow next to my own. It was covered in her scent and I buried my face into it, inhaling deeply, when I heard a noise on the other side of the bed. Removing the pillow from my face, I saw Sookie crouched down and when she stood I saw she had put on a nightgown and now had a phone charger in her hand.
“Sorry, I just wanted to charge my phone.”
Was that her side of the bed?
She stood there for another moment in silence, but when I didn’t say anything her eyes dropped from mine and she walked to the doorway before turning to face me again. “I’ll just leave our doors open so if you need anything, just yell for me and I’ll come.”
If she hadn’t looked so sad I would’ve made a joke about whether or not she yelled when she came.
If I hadn’t felt so sad seeing her walk away I might’ve managed to thank her for everything she’d done for me.
Feeling the ache in my chest build, I buried my face into her pillow so I wouldn’t yell out for her instead.